essay about ofw mother

Each year, thousands of OFWs leave the country to work abroad so they can provide for their families back home. Here’s the story of an OFW mother who had to make the difficult decision of leaving her young child so she could work in Dubai. She talks of the sacrifices of an OFW mother, the difficult decision she had to make, and how she shows her child her love even when she’s away from home.

Each year thousands upon thousands of Filipinos go on a journey abroad in search of greener pastures. They make the difficult decision of working thousands of miles away from their families so they can earn money to provide for the needs of their loved ones. Figures from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) show that there are currently around 2.3 million OFWs working abroad. And around 53.7% of them are women. Among the millions who work abroad are mothers who make the heartbreaking decision to travel to another country leaving children back home. Here, we will share the story of an OFW mother that will inspire you.

One of the millions of moms who work abroad, away from their children, is 29-year old Angie Remollo. Angie, who works as a Business Development Executive for an E-commerce company in Dubai, has a three-year-old son she left in the Philippines. We sat down with the doting mom who talked about her experiences, the sacrifices of OFW mothers, and how she shows her love even from a distance.

How hard was it to make the decision to work abroad and leave your children in the PH? Tell us your story.

It was the biggest decision we had to make. [It came] to a point that we fought a million times and thought it through a million times as well. There was resistance from the family too and we had to defend our decision. Not everybody will understand. It was the hardest for us, for me being a mother, to not be with my only son. However I felt I needed to see the big picture –  I needed to think of his future, our future.

One thing that strikes me is that, if we did not try, we would be haunted by the what ifs. “What if we tried our luck and we made it?” or “What could have been our future?” So we decided to make a plan and stick to it.

My husband and I strived very hard to find a good job so we can get our son as planned. After eight long months of working we were able to get Sean, our son, to live with us in the UAE. We were again a happy family for almost a year, but then we noticed that Sean was behind his age in development, especially in speaking.

We had to see a neuro developmental doctor who recommended that Sean undergo therapy. The cost of the therapy in the UAE was way too much and was beyond our capacity, so we had to make the decision to send Sean back home to get the therapy and schooling he needed. It has been six months since Sean left to go back home, and live away from us.  

Although it is very hard for us to wake up every day away from our son who lives with my mom and sister in Dumaguete, we remind ourselves that this is for my child’s own welfare.

We have made arrangements to see him twice a year and bring him here with us during his summer break.

How has working abroad been able to help your family?

Very much! Here we are earning four times what we used to earn in the Philippines. We are able to provide the needed aid and decent living for our family especially the needs of our only son. We are able to send him to therapy every day and schooling too.

What are the challenges you have faced working abroad?

Cultural differences since we are in an Arab country. There are things we used to do in our home country that we cannot do here. At first we had to adjust but eventually we realized that we love the environment and the country itself.

How do you stay in touch with your child?

We always do video calls almost every day when we get a chance. My sister regularly sends us pictures and videos of our son. So that’s why somehow we are regularly updated of our son’s improvement. 

Sean was diagnosed of having developmental delay due to his speech, so we sent him for therapy and schooling. That’s why we sent him back to the Philippines. We enrolled him to speech therapy and Occupational therapy. When we enrolled him, he didn’t know the alphabet yet and only knew several animals. After six months of therapy he is now able to sing and recite the alphabet… He also now knows many animals like cats and dogs to reptiles like gecko and other animals I don’t even know. He also loves to sing and dance.

How do you show him your love even though you can’t be there physically?

We provide my son’s needs. All these sacrifices are all for him. We make it a point to spend every weekend speaking to my family and my son on a video call. And we go home and visit him when we can and we also arrange to get him during his summer break.

What is your advice for moms (and dads) in a similar situation as yours?

For parents like us, just always be strong. Your sacrifices will pay off in time. Be with your family every chance you get and remember that your family should always come first. God is always watching us. He will be with us all the way.

Stories like Angie’s remind us that distance cannot and will never be a hindrance to a mother’s love. A parent’s love goes beyond borders and distance. It is able to overcome loneliness or homesickness. Truly, there’s nothing a parent can’t and won’t do to provide for the needs of her children and give them a better future.

Because of her inspiring story of an OFW that shows the sacrifices of being a mother, Angie has won a one-year milk supply of Enfagrow A+ Four for her son Sean.

Enfagrow A+ Four, with its special formula that contains precious MFGM and highest levels of DHA for brain development, helps moms like Angie show their love and nourish their children’s greatness even when they’re far away.

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A mother’s love: An OFW’s letter to her eldest

Being a mother is one of the most noble professions. A mother’s love is so great that it knows no bounds, a force that is able to transcend both time and distance. This is the story of how an OFW mom chose to be away from her children just to be able to ensure a bright future for them, and chronicles the pain of a parent miles away from home during one of the most important milestones of her children.

—————

Gusto ko lang i-share na kahit nakakapagod maging isang OFW, nakakaiyak din at nakakatuwa kapag nakikita mong nagbubunga ‘yung mga paghihirap natin.

I am a teacher po dito sa ibang bansa for more than 9 years na. Napakahirap pala maging OFW. ‘Yung lahat ng akala mo, mali pala. Hindi po lahat ng OFW ay yumayaman, pero lahat po ng OFW ay nakikipagsapalaran sa ibang bansa dahil may rason po sila. Ang rason ko po ay ang aking mga anak.

Namatay po ang asawa ko noong 2007 dahil sa atake sa puso. Teacher ako noon sa Pilipinas at ang asawa ko ay ume-extra sa construction. Kahit anong pagtitipid ang gawin, hindi talaga kasya ang budget dahil nag-aaral po ang tatlo kong anak. Dahil sa hirap ng buhay, matagal ko na talagang pin-lano mag-OFW. Pero ayaw ng asawa ko kasi mas okay sa kanya na kahit mahirap basta sama-sama. Kaso, dahil sa pagkamatay ng asawa ko, lalo pong naging mahirap. Mag-isa na lang po akong kumakayod at maliit lang po ang sahod ng mga guro.

Kaya kahit mahirap din para sa akin, nag-desisyon akong ipagpatuloy ang plano kong mag-abroad.

Magha-high school pa lamang noon ang panganay ko kaya proud na proud ako sa kanyang nag-step up siyang alagaan ang mga kapatid niya. Iniwan ko muna sila sa isa kong kapatid.

Umalis po ako ng Pilipinas na mabigat ang loob. Nag-pray po ako at humingi din ako ng guidance sa asawa ko. Kahit mahirap, nag-abroad ako at iniwan ang aking mga anak.

Napaka-mahirap maging OFW pero siguro mas mahirap maging OFW at isang ina nang sabay. Walang araw na hindi ko inisip kung nakahanda na kaya ang mga gamit nila para sa school, nakakain kaya sila ng almusal, okay naman kaya sila sa school, wala naman bang nangbu-bully sa kanila, okay naman kaya ang grades nila? Safe kaya silang nakauwi? Nakatulog na kaya sila? Bilang isang OFW at bilang isang ina, hindi ka nauubusan ng iniisip tungkol sa pamilya mo sa Pinas, lalong-lalo na kung tungkol sa ating mga anak.

Pero bawat gabi na dumadaan, tinatatagan ko pa. Nilalakasan ko lang loob ko. Para sa ating mga anak, ‘yan ang lagi kong iniisip. Siguro, malaki rin ang tiwala ko sa aking panganay na magagampanan niya ang kanyang role na maging “ina” muna sa mga nakababata niyang kapatid.

Magha-highschool pa lamang si Kristine noong iwanan ko sila. Kahit gaano kasimple, mahirap din pala na wala ka sa tabi nila kapag kuhanan na ng marka sa school, o kahit simpleng PTA meeting. Lalo na kapag matataas ang marka niya at gusto ko siyang ipagmalaki sa harap ng iba.

Ilang taon ang lumipas, nagcha-chat kami almost everyday. Kinakamusta ko sila ng mga kapatid niya.

Heto nga, ngayong May, gagraduate na si Kristine sa college. Proud na proud po akong sabihin na magtatapos pong magna cum laude ang aking anak.

Anak, kung mababasa mo ito, pasensya na at di pa rin makakauwi si Nanay sa graduation mo. Pero gusto kong sabihin sa’yo na proud na proud si mama sa’yo. Kung pwede ko lang ipagsigawan dito, anak ginawa ko na.

Proud na proud ako sa’yo dahil hindi ka lang magna cum laude, naalagaan mo rin ng maayos ang iyong mga kapatid kahit busy ka sa pag-aaral.

TFT, malapit na din po magtapos ang isa ko pang anak. Pero siguro hanggang hindi pa nakakapagtapos si bunso, hindi pa rin ako makakauwi ng Pilipinas. Tiis-tiis pa po ng konti bago ko po sila makasama ulit.

Sa mga OFW na nanay na makakabasa nito, laban lang po tayo. Kaya natin ‘to. Para sa ating pamilya at mga anak sa Pilipinas, para sa pagmamahal natin sa kanila. Nakaka-proud makita yung mga paghihirap natin na nagbubunga na.

Maging proud tayo na tayo ay mga OFW mothers.

Thank you, TFT and more power.

Staff Report

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To My Leaver-Mother

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A left-behind daughter of the Philippines reflects on her mother’s honorable sacrifice: leaving her family behind to support them while working abroad.

Your finger dabbed my cheek to lift a fallen eyelash.

“Humiling ka,” you said. Make a wish.

I wanted to wish you would not leave us. I wanted to hear your luggage unzip, see your clothes hurl themselves back into the patinated mahogany cabinet in our shared room. I wanted to wake up the next day and find you by the stove, stirring a pot of l ú gaw for breakfast, the kitchen fogged up with the spicy twang of ginger, golden steam swirling around you.

I was twelve, and my breasts had just started to bloom. My class seatmates boasted with stories about how their mothers gifted them baby bras as they were nagdadalagá na , becoming young women. It sounded terrifying and exciting at the same time. But who would I talk to about these things if you were leaving?

You said you were going to work in the Middle East as a nurse. Over there, beyond the silver horizon , Tita Weng said, you’ll find the Middle East . [i] In my dreams, I was always running, almost reaching that silver horizon.

In my dreams, I was always running, almost reaching that silver horizon.

“Your Ma will send baby bras in Balikbayan boxes for you and Regine. Toblerone chocolates too!” Tita Weng said.

You blew the eyelash off the tip of your finger, and just like that, you were gone. The first time you left, we had just entered the year of the Snake. The Gold Snake, to be exact. My cousin Cheska, a Tsinoy, [ii] said that it was going to be an auspicious year. A year of change, of becoming better. Tsinoys believed people would make wise decisions that year. Perhaps they were right: on the 20th of January, the president of the Philippines, Joseph “Erap” Estrada, was removed from office after a revolution known as People Power 2 , following protests on the EDSA highway in Manila. [iii] His campaign song was a lie. All the neighborhood radio stations used to play it until I too started belting it out as I walked to school every morning: “Erap para sa mahirap!” “Erap for the poor!” When he was ousted, the adults believed the years of theft from the nation’s treasury would finally end.

“There will be more jobs,” Tita Weng said.

“Ma will come back and never leave again,” I said.

While there had been many surging tides of upheaval in Manila, the clamor in our household had a different quality on the 20th of January, as we celebrated not only my 12th birthday but also our town’s fiesta of San Sebastian. I woke up to the sound of chopping and the strong scent of onions and garlic being sautéed. Our neighbors were preparing their feasts in their backyards, and the hiss of large woks could be heard through the window. This year, like the last three years, our family could only afford a tray of pancit bihon, but our stomachs would be luggage-tight after visiting each of our neighbor’s houses and enjoying their banquets of crispy pata, caldereta, and kare-kare.

“Next year, when your Ma has saved some money in Oman, she’ll send a feast for your birthday and for the fiesta!” Tita Weng promised. But all I wanted was your home-cooked pancit bihon, the sour-tang of kalamansi squeezed all over it, and the green and orange slivers of sliced string beans and carrots topping the shiny glass noodles.

I ran to the fair just outside the village with my siblings and our neighborhood friends, past all the adults of our street gathered around the television, sipping gin and spooning pig’s brain s í sig into their mouths. At the fair, we were greeted by the sour sweat of townspeople playing Colour Games, flicking peso coins on prize boards. We headed to the Horror Train where Regine and I recoiled at the clanging of the tin walls, slapped by the palms of teenage “monsters” and “zombies,” their tattered shirts crimson with the “blood” of achuete sap. A tikbalang hopped onto the carriage where Regine and I were sitting, and the tunnel shook with our screams. The tikbalang pulled back his horselike mask to reveal the face of a teenage boy, with warm eyes and a slanted scar on his chin.

“Miss, may I get your phone number?” he smirked at us, and, in a fierce reflex, Regine’s fist boxed straight into his face. Our instinctive guardian against the perils of monsters and love. He fell with a thud that was drowned out by the passengers’ cries and the rattling of our train over the rusted tracks.

Regine’s fist boxed straight into his face. Our instinctive guardian against the perils of monsters and love.

I was twelve, my sister, eleven. For the first time, somebody called us Miss . But who could we tell about such thrills?

The year of the Gold Snake came and went. I could not tell if people’s decisions truly led them toward a more auspicious life. I wondered, though, Ma, if you were happy in Oman. What were you doing as my hysterical screams vibrated down the Horror Train tunnel? Or as I licked remnants of purple yam fiesta cakes off my palms? What about that Valentine’s Day of 2001? When every man in our village held the stem of a red rose, did you receive anything from Pa? Who was with you on the other side of that silver horizon?

Ma, tell me that loneliness and solitude are not the same. Loneliness is sadness, in a landscape that is always dark, gritted and scabbed by dust storms, one that is hard to escape. Tell me that solitude is more special than that: perhaps a chosen state.

Our situation is not entirely unique to us. Labor migration has been going on for many years. Tita Weng said many other Eraps have run our country after him. [iv] Growing up in the Philippines in the 1990s to 2005, our teachers familiarized us with the term “brain drain”: decades of emigration of highly-trained Filipinos has been such a loss to the country. [v] Some who worked in low-skilled jobs abroad despite their professional qualifications in the Philippines return deskilled.

They have to go because they have no choice. Who would put food on the table? our teacher once asked.

Ma, tell me that loneliness and solitude are not the same. Even though the adults say migrants do not have a choice, you still chose to leave, right? Tita Weng said you chose not to be with us so you could provide for us. So I want to convince myself that your solitude is an act of sacrifice. And isn’t leaving the most honorable sacrifice, Ma?

That sacrifice hurls migrants like yourself into landscapes that are not only lonesome but also dangerous. [vi] I used to think that you betrayed us by leaving. A snake is slang for a person who betrays you , an English teacher once told me. But I want to think of you as a snake who symbolizes not treachery but remedy. Just like the gold snake entwined around the rod wielded by the Greek god Asclepius, the image of healing. The symbol that is usually pinned onto nurses’ chests, or engraved on doctors’ rings.

“But you’re not a snake,” Cheska said. “You’re a dragon. The New Year of 1989 started in February and not in your birth month, January.” I kicked an empty can. Who wants to be a mythical dragon, Ma? I am a snake! For I see you in that symbol: the one who sheds skin to become more resplendent, the one who leaves to rebuild. In Oman, you worked at Nizwa Hospital, learning how to speak Arabic in a month.

“ Salaam Alaikum ,” you taught me once in an international call. “Peace be unto you.”

“Alaikum-Salaam” (And peace be unto you), I learned to reply.

I scribbled Arabic phrases in my notebook and practiced counting in Arabic during breaks at school. Wahid. Itnan. Talata. I’d look up at a patch of blue sky beyond the tall molave trees, past the reverberation of kuliglig, and imagine you in the glinting desert dust, uttering the words that I was practicing. Perhaps in language, we can meet.

Whenever you greeted me with peace, my reply would always be, Peace unto you too . But sometimes I wonder how much peace really exists in a transnational family like ours? When one El Ni ño I fried some tilapia, and Regine ended up convulsing and vomiting, did you sleep in peace then? How about that time you found out that Pa, in his drunken state, had beaten up an electrician who came to cut off our electricity, leaving the man’s left eye bruised and as swollen as a caimito fruit, did you work in peace then?

I thought you were coming back to fix things. Once, I ran toward loud knocking on the door but did not find you on the other side. Two bulky policemen stood in front of me, blocking out the daylight. Regine and I had to answer to them as they looked for Pa. “If your mother’s working abroad, why can’t your father even pay the bills?” one of them asked.

Left-behinds like us must grow up fast, must persevere especially in the absence of peace.

Tell me, Ma—that left-behinds like us must grow up fast, that we must persevere especially in the absence of peace. [vii] To perform what our parents could not. And to tell our parents only the good things about our lives, leaving out the not-so-good so that even if we’re far apart, we could give them peace .

So whenever you called us, we would say how bright our summer was, how the guava fruits in the yard turned from yellow to pink and started dropping to the ground with such overripe hope. I never talked about bad things. Once, a girl who sat behind me in class kept kicking my chair and sticking chewing gum in my hair. When our teacher made us clean toilets and she kept “accidentally” poking my leg with a bowl plunger, the rubber mouth making a wet sucking noise on my ankles, I jumped on her, tugging her long black hair, until the tiled walls echoed with our classmates’ shouting. I yanked on her collar, exposing her budding chest to the whole class. Since, I never felt my chair shake from her kicking again.

“Peace be unto you too.”

Ma, teach me more Arabic phrases, tell me your story. How you were sent by your hospital to the mountains of Jebel Kawr in Oman, on a medical mission. How you rocked on the back of a camel as the sun baked the desert in gold. You stopped by a river and kneeled to see your own reflection, lowering your hands to the ice-cold waters from the mountain peaks. You filled up your gourd bottle, drank, and filled it up again.

Later that night, you reached a small village carved from rocks, and the full moon bloomed in the sea of dark linctus in the spoons you coaxed sick children to swallow. The air cooled as you wrapped a bandage around a girl’s sprained foot. You hoisted her onto your lap, pointed at a far-off herd of white antelopes. I want to convince myself that by tending to those children, you tended to us from a distance.

Peace be with you.

Wolverhampton, UK

Editorial note: “Poetry and Nursing in the Filipino Diaspora,” Ante’s interview with Marianne Chan, appeared earlier this summer on the WLT Weekly.

[i] Tita means “auntie.”

[ii] Tsinoy refers to Chinese-Filipinos.

[iii] The first People Power Revolution had taken place fifteen years beforehand, when Ferdinand Marcos was ousted from power and exiled. Estrada was charged with plunder and later convicted.

[iv] The Philippines has become one of the top sources of migrant laborers for the world and has been described by the BBC News as the country “training their people to leave.” Every day, five thousand Filipinos leave to work abroad, and a large proportion of these migrants are women. In a report published in 2016, United Nations Women stated that the number of hired women migrant workers or WMWs reached its peak in 2014, when 75 percent of newly deployed workers were female.

[v] Some Overseas Filipino Workers are professionals (i.e., teachers, nurses, etc.) who go to other countries (i.e., Hong Kong, the Middle East, Japan) to work in a lower-skilled employment such as being nannies, entertainers, etc.

[vi] Joanna De Mafelis, a Filipino maid in Kuwait, was found mutilated in her employer’s freezer in 2018. In 2014 Filipino nurses working in a private nursing home in Wiltshire, England, were rescued following abuse, racism, and exploitation. In a report published by The Independent , one of the Filipino nurses, Nemia Labergas, was quoted saying that ten of her colleagues were given accommodation miles from their workplace, in a four-bedroom house with only one bathroom. She told the reporter, “They said that we were used to living like rats in the Philippines.”

[vii] Left-behind children is a sociological term that describes children left by their parents (sometimes to their grandparents, sometimes alone) as the latter work in other cities or countries in order to provide for the family. In 2018 there were nine million left-behind children in the Philippines; their parents were Overseas Filipino Workers.

Romalyn Ante  is a Filipino-British author. She is co-founding editor of  harana poetry  and a poetry editor at  Ambit  magazine. Her honors include the  Poetry London Prize , Manchester Poetry Prize, Society of Authors Foundation Award, among others. Her debut collection,  Antiemetic for Homesickness  (Chatto), was named Poetry Book of 2020 by the Poetry School and the  Irish Times . It is longlisted for the Dylan Thomas Prize and shortlisted for the Jhalak Prize 2021.

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Being an OFW Mother: Importance of Overseas Filipino Moms

The term OFW mom refers to a Filipino mother who has migrated overseas for work. The choice to become an OFW is usually motivated by economic necessity, with the aim to secure a more prosperous future for their children.

The life of an OFW mom teems with challenges. Balancing work life in a foreign land with the emotional yearning for their children and family back home is no easy task. They miss milestones – birthdays, graduations, and even simple family dinners. Yet, they brave these challenges and endure the loneliness, carrying a smile in their daily interactions, hiding the longing in their hearts.

Table of Contents

The Journey: Becoming an OFW Mom

The journey towards becoming an OFW mom starts with the difficult decision to leave one’s family and home country . This decision is often fueled by the economic hardships prevalent in the Philippines. These brave women venture into the unknown, armed with the hope of providing a better life for their children.

• Decision Making: The first step in the journey of an OFW mom is making the difficult decision to work abroad. This is usually a result of economic hardship and the desire to provide a better future for their children. This step often involves lengthy discussions with family members and careful consideration of the challenges and sacrifices involved.
• Job Search: Once the decision is made, the next step involves searching for a suitable job overseas. This step may involve exploring job opportunities online or through overseas employment agencies. It’s crucial to find a job that aligns with the mother’s skills and qualifications.
• Securing a Work Visa: After securing a job, the next step is to apply for a work visa. This process is often lengthy and requires submitting various documents such as employment contracts, medical certificates, and proof of financial means.
• Pre-Departure Preparations: This involves arranging logistics, such as airfare and accommodation, and emotionally preparing oneself and the family for the separation. This step may also involve attending pre-departure orientation seminars conducted by the government to prepare OFWs for life abroad.
• Settling Abroad: Upon arrival in the foreign country, the OFW mom must adapt to a new culture, language, and working conditions. This step involves finding a place to live, setting up communication methods with family back home, and adjusting to the new work environment.
• Maintaining Connection with Family: While working overseas, OFW moms make an effort to maintain strong connections with their families back home. Regular communication through calls, emails, or video chats becomes essential during this phase.
• Financial Management: OFW moms often have to manage their earnings effectively to meet their family’s needs back home and also save for their future. This step includes sending remittances home, budgeting, and saving.

Remember, the journey of an OFW mom is not linear, and every individual’s experience is unique. These steps provide a general outline of the journey but do not encompass all the challenges and triumphs experienced by OFW moms.

Once the decision is made, these mothers face a rigorous process that involves securing a work visa, finding an overseas job, and preparing for life in a foreign country. A key part of this journey is the emotional preparation for the loneliness and homesickness that comes with being away from family.

Challenges Faced by OFW Moms

OFW moms face numerous challenges, both physical and emotional. Physically, they often work long hours and have limited time for rest. They also grapple with adapting to a new culture and environment.

Emotionally, the biggest challenge is dealing with homesickness and the guilt of being away from their children. They constantly worry about their children’s wellbeing and feel guilty about not being there for important occasions and milestones.

• Language Barrier: One of the primary challenges faced by OFW moms is the language barrier. Often, they find themselves in a country where the local language is entirely different from their mother tongue. This can make communication difficult, especially at work and in everyday social interactions.
• Cultural Differences: Adjusting to a new culture is another significant challenge. Different societal norms, customs, and etiquettes can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of isolation and difficulty in assimilating.
• Discrimination and Abuse: Unfortunately, some OFW moms encounter discrimination and abuse in their workplace. This can range from unfair treatment and exploitation to physical and mental abuse.
• Distance from Family: The emotional toll of being away from their children and loved ones can be immense. The separation can lead to feelings of loneliness, guilt, and anxiety.
• Financial Stress: Although they generally earn more than they would at home, OFW moms often face financial stress due to the high costs of living abroad, coupled with the responsibility of sending remittances to support their families back in the Philippines.
• Health Issues: Long work hours, lack of proper rest, and the stress of living and working in a foreign country can lead to various health issues, both physical and mental. Despite these challenges, OFW moms continue to stay resilient and determined in their journey to provide a better life for their families.

Tips for Balancing Work and Family Life as an OFW Mom

Balancing work and family life is a constant struggle for OFW moms. They strive to provide a good life for their families financially while trying to maintain a strong emotional connection with their children back home. Here are some tips on how to keep your relationships alive and active while abroad:

• Prioritize Time: Make a schedule and stick to it. Prioritize the activities that bring you closer to your long-term goals. Be disciplined in allotting time for work, rest, and communication with family.
• Use Technology: Utilize communication technologies like video calls, instant messaging, and social media updates to keep in touch with your family. Share your daily routines, special moments, and even the mundane aspects of your life. This helps to maintain a strong emotional connection despite the distance.
• Create Meaningful Rituals: Establish regular, meaningful communication rituals such as reading stories at bedtime, helping with homework, or even virtual dinners. These rituals provide a sense of normalcy and emotional support for both you and your children.
• Share Responsibilities: Encourage your family to share responsibilities at home. This not only eases your worry about household chores but also makes each family member feel helpful and responsible.
• Take Care of Your Health: Remember that you can only take care of others if you are in good health. Eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and set aside time for relaxation and leisure activities.
• Save and Budget: Manage your finances effectively. Make a clear budget plan, save consistently, and be transparent about your financial situation with your family. This will help alleviate any financial stress.
• Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek help when needed. Be it emotional support or professional advice, reaching out to friends, coworkers, or professional counselors can be incredibly beneficial.
• Stay Positive: Mindset is key. Staying positive and focusing on the good things in life can greatly reduce stress and improve your overall well-being. Remember, you are doing a great job, and it’s okay to have some tough days.
• Learning and Growth: Use the opportunity abroad to learn new skills, languages, and cultures. This not only helps with your job but also provides personal growth and enrichment.
• Remember Your Why: Remind yourself of the reasons why you chose to work overseas . This can motivate you to keep going during tough times and bring you peace of mind.

Significant Contributions to Families and Economy

OFW moms make significant contributions on both a personal and national level. At home, they are able to provide better educational and healthcare opportunities for their children. On a national level, their remittances play a vital role in the country’s economy.

• Economic Contributions : OFW mothers significantly contribute to the economy through remittances, which account for a substantial part of the country’s GDP. These remittances help stimulate economic activity and support local businesses.
• Family Welfare : With their income, OFW mothers can provide their families with better healthcare and educational opportunities. They often aim to give their children access to quality education to secure their futures.
• Community Growth : The money sent by OFW mothers often aids in the development of their local communities. It results in better infrastructural facilities and enhanced living standards.
• Societal Impact : The experiences and stories of OFW mothers inspire resilience and sacrifice in the society, instilling values of hard work and determination.
• Promoting Gender Equality : By working in foreign lands, these mothers also inadvertently promote gender equality. They showcase the ability of women to provide and care for their families single-handedly.

Support Systems for OFW Moms

Support systems are crucial for OFW moms. These support systems can take the form of government agencies, non-government organizations, religious groups, and the OFW community itself.

These organizations provide various forms of assistance including legal advice, skills training, and emotional support. Having a robust support system helps OFW moms overcome the challenges they face.

Success Stories of OFW Moms

Despite the challenges, many OFW moms have stories of success and achievement. They have managed to lift their families out of poverty and provide better opportunities for their children. Here are some examples of successful OFW moms:

• Julie, a domestic helper in Hong Kong, was able to send her son to college and provide for her family’s needs back home. She now runs a successful business in her home province.
• Maria, an OFW nurse in the United States, was able to support her siblings’ education and buy a house for her parents. She is also actively involved in charitable projects for her community.
• Len, a caregiver in Canada, was able to bring her family to live with her after years of being apart. She now runs a successful care home business with her husband.
• Ana, an engineer in Dubai, has been recognized for her contributions to the company she works for and has been promoted to a managerial position.
• Karen, a teacher in Singapore, has been able to provide her family with a comfortable life and send her children to excellent schools.

These stories are just a few examples of the many successful OFW moms who have made sacrifices for their families and achieved their goals.

These success stories are a testament to the hard work, determination, and sacrifices of OFW moms and their unwavering love for their families.

The Future of OFW Moms

The future of OFW moms is dependent on many factors. Government policies, global economic conditions, and the personal decisions of these moms play a significant role.

It is still uncertain what the future holds, but one thing is for sure: OFW moms will continue to be resilient and strong in providing for their families. Their contributions to the Philippine economy will remain invaluable, making them an essential part of our society.

With the right support and resources, these mothers can continue to thrive overseas while maintaining a strong bond with their families back home.

The journey of an OFW mom is marked by sacrifice, resilience, and strength. They face numerous challenges but continue to work tirelessly for the wellbeing of their families.

Their efforts have not only elevated their families’ living conditions but also significantly contributed to the Philippine economy. The story of every OFW mom is a testament to the strength and resilience of Filipino mothers.

The sacrifices of OFW moms are immeasurable. Their story is one of strength, resilience, and unconditional love. They bear the weight of being away from family, coupled with the pressure of providing financial stability. The prevailing theme in their narrative goes far beyond economic migration—it is a saga of love and dream for their children’s future.

So, here’s to the OFW moms, the unsung heroes, who, with their indomitable spirit and enduring love, build dreams in distant lands, all the while nurturing the bond of family from thousands of miles away. Your sacrifices are seen, appreciated, and will never be forgotten.

OFW moms share stories of joy, pride and homesickness from across the world

By Johanna Añes-de la Cruz, The Philippine STAR Published May 07, 2021 11:13 pm Updated May 10, 2021 11:36 am

2.2 million. According to 2020 data from the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA), there are 2.2 million OFWs scattered across the globe. A majority of this staggering number are women, most of whom are mothers, and many, if not all, chose to trade off precious time spent with their kids so they can provide for their education, and give them a better shot at life.

We are no strangers to OFW stories: the pain of separation from their kids, the devastation after discovering a husband’s infidelity, the constant pressure of having to send money back home.

These themes, after all, are a staple in many an OFW narrative, but OFW moms are also bearers of stories teeming with joy, triumph, and pride .

For Mothers’ Day, PhilSTAR L!fe talks to five OFW mothers based in different parts of the world to celebrate some of their life’s biggest milestones, and honor their stories as women, mothers, sisters, heroes.

Elanie Laguimun, OFW for 9 years, the US

‘The thought of being able to send them to good schools gives me so much pride and joy.’

“I work as a private caregiver. My specialization is Alzheimer’s cases.” For the past nine years, Elanie has spent most of her waking hours taking care of older people who are not even related to her.

“The challenge of being an OFW is homesickness. For almost seven years, I cry most of the time when I think about my children, especially the two younger ones whom I left when they were just 11 and 3 years old.”

She says that to this day, it breaks her heart knowing that she missed important events in their lives like their graduation and birthdays, “It crushes my heart every time I think about all these moments, but I have no other option but to stay strong so I can provide for their education.”

Elanie beams as she shares that despite being away from her kids, seeing her two older daughters graduate from college gives her immeasurable joy. She admits that she could probably not have done it if she chose to stay in the Philippines.

She reminds fellow OFW moms to “be strong. Focus on your goal. And most of all, be steadfast in your faith in God. Keep praying. Have constant communication with your children and with your family.” 

Michelle Daguso Miranda, OFW for 10 years, Australia

“My biggest achievement is keeping my family together.”

For more than a decade, Michelle has worked tirelessly as an OFW in Singapore and in Australia where she and her family are now based. “I support families with children with special needs and help them achieve their goals,” she says of her job in Sydney.

She recounts that the lack of support and homesickness caused her much distress in her first few years abroad. “Good thing, nowadays, it is easier to communicate through video calls.”

Michelle knows that OFWs work too hard and too often they forget to take care of themselves. She reminds them, “You should never neglect self-care and always prioritize your well being. Join a support group, advocate work-life balance, and above all pray for guidance and strength.”

Myziel Castillo, OFW for 30 years, Japan

“Napagtapos ko ang mga kapatid ko.”

Myziel has been an OFW for as long as she can remember, and has done all sorts of work, from being a bento cook to moonlighting as a fruit farmer. She shares how the most challenging aspect of being away from home is having to do everything. “You have no relatives who will assist you like in the Philippines.”

She considers herself luckier than most OFW moms because she has never been separated from her only child, Kota. “I have been with my son the entire time. I raised him and did not miss a lot (of memories) for which I am very thankful.”

However, she was also a mother to the siblings she left behind in the Philippines. For many years, she worked several jobs, pulling all-nighters and waking up before the crack of dawn just so she could send her younger siblings to school.

“Achievements? Having been able to get my siblings to finish school, one of whom earned a master’s degree in Australia.” She shares that she derives so much happiness from knowing where her siblings are now.

She adds, “Trust God, put him at the center (of your life), set your goals and focus on achieving them. Pamper yourself from time to time. You need to be happy for you to be able to wholeheartedly help other people.”

Leni Bacay, OFW for 22 years, Italy

“Ipinagmamalaki kong napagtapos ko sa pag-aaral ang mga anak ko.”

Leni has worked as an OFW for more than two decades, taking on caregiving work in Israel and Italy. “Sa kasalukuyan, nag-aalaga ako ng matanda from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.”

Like most OFWs, she left her family behind so she could give them a better life.

She says that she feels the happiest when she is able to send money to her loved ones back home. Aside from being able to send her kids to college, Leny was able to buy a parcel of land and start a small business in the Philippines.  

Marlyn Sasaki, OFW for 25 years, Japan

“Kaligayahan ko ang makitang maayos ang paglaki ng aking mga anak.”

“Marami na rin akong napasukan na trabaho,” shares Marlyn. “Like electronic parts assembly. Tapos ‘yong tinatawag dito sa Japan na izakaya o maliit lang na kainan, at the same time pwede rin uminom ng alak. Nagluluto at nagseserve din.”

She recounts the different challenges she faced when she was starting out as an OFW, “Sa umpisa hindi naman ako marunong pang mag-Nihonggo at iba ang kultura nila.” She now speaks Japanese fluently and has adapted to life in Japan, “Siyempre sa pagdaan ng panahon nakaka-adopt ka na rin sa kanilang culture at isa pa maraming mga kaibigan sa church. Malaking tulong ito sa akin.”

What she considers her biggest joy is seeing how her children were able to grow up into decent and responsible adults

Marlyn admonishes fellow OFWs to not send all their earnings back home. “Mag-ipon kayo. Huwag ipadala lahat ng pera mo para pag-uwi mo may pera ka rin.”

A few more pieces of advice for OFW moms

We also talked to Fr. Rogelio “Rodge” Cardenas, CM, Superior of the Congregation of the Mission in Japan, who has served as counselor and friend to many OFWs in Japan for the past 13 years.

He says OFWs should also try to avail of “free language classes offered by local municipalities. Be creative, try learning new skills, study online to improve yourself.”

To battle loneliness, he advises: “Don’t forget to pray to God. Join communities like a church community and volunteer in church activities. Find time to relax and go out with good friends. Call your family and friends using your social media if you need it.”

TAGS: ofws moms

Johanna Añes-de la Cruz, The Philippine STAR

Johanna (Mok to most people) is known to friends and familiars as the ultimate “raket queen.” She works full time as a communications specialist at a government agency while moonlighting as a writer, teacher, and social media manager.

Strength in Sacrifice: OFW Women in the UAE

Who Takes Care of Nanny's Children?

When a Filipino woman leaves her home to work overseas as a nanny, she knows that it will be years...

(This is the second part of Ana Santos' photo essay on OFW women. Check the first part here .) In the United Arab Emirates (UAE), having a Filipina nanny is considered a status symbol. She is recognized for her caring, nurturing ways and natural love for children. Some sociologists call this a transfer of affection or a caregiver's way of dealing with not being able to give her own children love and affection by rechanneling her attention to her ward. An honorable profession "When it comes to being a nanny or caregiver, the Filipina is the best in her class. She's the top of the line. It is an honorable profession. As a caregiver, she is entrusted with the most vulnerable in the home: the young and the elderly," said Ambassador Grace Princesa, Philippine Ambassador to the UAE. The 2012 Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) estimates show that there are more than 900,000 Filipinos in the UAE. More than 75% of them are temporary workers and around 22% are irregular migrants – those who are not properly documented, do not have valid residence or work permits, or who are overstaying. "About 10% of Filipinos in the UAE are working as domestic workers or nannies," Princesa added. Between mothers When she opened it and saw the pictures of her two children, Joy and Jim, and her mother, she looked up at me and asked, "Sa akin na po ito?" (Are these mine now?) I gave Norma Brion the envelope, vaguely telling her I had brought her something from the Philippines. " Opo. Dala po namin yan para sa 'yo. " (Yes. We really brought those for you.) In the 8 years that Norma Brion has been working as a nanny and domestic helper in Abu Dhabi, she has gone home to the Philippines to be with her children only twice. " Nang iwan ko sila, ang liliit pa nila. Tignan mo na sila ngayon, ga-graduate na ng college si Joy ," she said running her hand over the photos. (When I left them, they were so small. Look at them now. Joy is about to graduate from college.) At that point, I was no longer the journalist and Norma was no longer the respondent. We were just two mothers. (Read more about Norma and her children here ) Veiled stigma " Nakatapos ako ng business wala naman opportunities sa Cotabato. Yun mga lalaki, lumalaban o nagtatanim. Yun mga babae wala. So naisipan ko mamasukan na lang sa Kuwait. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano o saan yun ." (I graduated with a business degree but there are no employment opportunities in Cotabato. The boys go off to fight or farm, but there is nothing there for the women. So I thought of looking for domestic work in Kuwait. I didn't even know where Kuwait is.) " Hindi ko na naisipan mag-try mamasukan sa Manila. Sabi nila mas mahihirapan ako dun kasi masama tingin nila sa Muslim, mga terrorista daw ," Farida said. (I didn't even try to find domestic work in Manila. They told me it would be harder for me there because Muslims have a reputation for being terrorists.) Statistics show that in the provinces of ARMM, Maguindanao and CAR, women migrants outnumber their male counterparts. According to the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA), for every 10 women who work abroad, there are 11 men. However, gender distribution of OFWs is very different for SOCCSKARGEN, Cagayan Valley, ARMM and CAR (Cordillera Administrative Region). In these areas, from 2008-2010, for every 3-5 male OFWs, there were 10 female OFWs. The Yaya Sisterhood "I come from a family of 13. We're all named after famous Filipino celebrities," said Nida Velonza, laughing. "Me, I'm named after Nida Blanca." When Nida first began working as a nanny in Dubai, she kept thinking about her sisters back in the Philippines who were struggling to make ends meet. "My sister, Gloria and her husband, only had soup to eat because they had to give the meat to the kids. Mayra's husband did not work. Maricel got pregnant and her boyfriend left her. My other sister, Perla, was not married and did not have kids but she was working at a dead-end job in a factory." Nida then decided to bring her sisters one by one starting with her Ate Mayra. Then, she and Mayra pooled funds together to bring Alma, then Gloria, then Perla and finally Maricel to Dubai. Currently, there are 6 of them working in Dubai as nannies. At the time this photo was taken, one sister, Alma, was in the Philippines on holiday. "There are a lot of people who look at us and are envious. When we get together at the park or attend community functions on our days off, we make it a point to come in the same color," giggled Mayra. "When we call our parents every week, they ask to speak to us one by one and check attendance. We charge those who are absent AED 20!" said Perla, piping in. "I'm happy – we're happy. My sisters and I have each other here to depend on and to go to. When we eventually go home to the Philippines, we might put together a small business like a grocery or something. We don't know yet but it will still be us sisters helping each other out. Like they say, blood is thicker than water," said Nida. When wards become children Nida Velonza's only son, Nicos, was 2 months old when she left him. "I was still breastfeeding him," she recalled. She had been working as a nanny for many years at that time, but was hard-pressed to find economic opportunities in the Philippines. "There was nothing for me and my son there and my husband was of no help. I had to leave," she said. Nida has been taking care of her ward, Alps, since he was 6 months old. Alps is now 6 years old and almost the same age as Nicos. "Everything I could not do for Nicos, I do for Alps. I sometimes think I don't know my son. I don't what he favorite color is, what his favorite food is – the things I know about Alps. I love and care for someone else's child but can't be there for my own son." Catching up Socorro Magramo has a lot of catching up to do. She spent 18 years in the monastery and has spent almost the same number of years taking care of other people's children. "I'm 58 years old now. It's too late for me to have kids of my own because of my age," she smiled. "But I want to have a partner, in this lifetime if possible…maybe soon," she added, laughing good-naturedly. "Now, all I want is reward myself for the long period of taking care of other people, other children, and helping my nieces and nephews finish their studies." "Actually I have a boyfriend, we're in a long-distance relationship," said Socorro with a twinkle in her eye.

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My mother's journey as an overseas Filipino worker

With millions of Filipinos working abroad, one woman reflects on overcoming the distance that grew between her and her mother.

Angeli Gabriel and her mother, Marlyn Henning, take pictures after the family moves to Tennessee in 1999. Mother and daughter share similar haircuts and floral prints.

“You had pigtails and didn’t speak any English at all,” my mother says, telling me the story of our move to the United States. It was probably the thousandth time I’d heard this story, but I didn’t mind. My mother, like many Filipinos, is an excellent storyteller—very expressive. She’d emphatically move her hands, shimmy her shoulders, and even do impersonations.

But I couldn’t see any of that this time because we were talking on the phone. My only visual of her was the word “Mom” glowing in white text on my phone’s black screen. I could still imagine every motion she was making and every glint in her eye, as I heard her smiling through the phone.

These calls, where I’d envision my mother’s mannerisms from memory, are how many of our interactions go these days. Years ago, I moved to Washington D.C. for graduate school and work, hundreds of miles from my parents’ house in Tennessee. Trips home became more difficult and less frequent.

Marlyn Henning, several months pregnant with daughter Angeli Gabriel, stands on the steps of her work dormitory in 1986. While pregnant, she still worked as a nurse at Abdulla Fouad Hospital in Dammam, Saudi Arabia.

Grandmother Rosevida Pasana holds Angeli Gabriel and cousin Jeffrey Pasana at her home in Manaoag, Philippines. Unlike other Filipino grandchildren, they called their grandmother “Nanay”, which actually means “mom” in Tagalog.

For my mother and me, distance has always been a constant. But as the decades went by, the veneer of normalcy began to fade as the sacrifices of my mother and our family in the Philippines came to the fore. ( Why 10 million Filipinos work overseas. )

It is quite common in Filipino families for parents and children to live apart. Many parents travel abroad to places like Japan, the United Arab Emirates, Germany, the United States—anywhere they can go to make a living—even by taking care of other people’s children. Today, an estimated 10 million Filipinos are working overseas. They send home an estimated $27 billion a year in remittances.

Of the many Filipino professionals that travel overseas to work, some of the most well-known are nurses. My mother is one of those nurses.

Our story began in 1955, when my mother was born in the rural town of San Jacinto, Philippines. Her father, a bus driver, was the sole earner in their household, struggling to make his earnings stretch and support his wife and six children.

The stories my mom tells about this time in her life take on a somber tone as she talks about family meals that only included rice, water, and salt. Her father would try to persuade his children to eat, constantly promising meat in their next meal, knowing that it was a promise that he could rarely keep.

Marlyn Henning (far left) in 1977 during her senior year of nursing school. The class was Public Health Nursing and involved going to rural areas to provide treatment.

But by the time my mother, the youngest daughter, was a teenager, my grandparents had saved enough money to invest in something that would change their future: sending my mom to nursing school.

Nursing was not my mother’s dream career at the time. As a teenager, she loved to draw and sew, and she even dreamt of a career in fashion and design. But my grandparents asked my mom to consider nursing. My grandparents had seen for other families that nursing helped provide the financial stability their family desperately needed.

They enrolled my mother in Lyceum-Northwestern University. My mom graduated as a registered nurse in 1978.

Then in 1983, after years of gaining hands-on medical experience, my mother joined the ranks of many Filipino nurses who came before her. She accepted an offer to work abroad, at Abdulla Fouad Hospital in Dammam, Saudi Arabia.

She recalls the day she left for the job. At the airport in Manila, Philippines, she prepared to hop on a plane for the first time. Her father was sad to see her leave, and my grandmother cried incessantly. It would be a long time before they’d see their daughter again. ( See millions of Filipino workers return home for the holidays. )

As part of my mother’s work contract, she could only return to the Philippines once a year. Each stint home lasted for about 45 days, enough to catch up on what had happened with family in the past year, before having to reset the clock and return overseas to work.

Angeli Gabriel, is being held by grandmother, Rosevida Pasana. Here, she and grandfather Amado Pasana (seated) are having dinner with several family members at their house in Manaoag, Philippines.

Like many other Filipinos working overseas, my mother sent the majority of her pay back to her family. Her parents needed her support as they grew older and as my grandfather became unable to work as much. Some of her siblings fell into financial hard times. While working abroad separated my mom from her family for years, it allowed them to leave a life of poverty and gain a better, more stable life.

Growing up, I remember seeing photos of my mom in Saudi Arabia. She would be posing with friends and co-workers, and she’d often wear either pressed, white nursing outfits or casual 80s wear that showed off her petite figure. But a few other photos had her posing in a large, flowing mumu—showing off a baby bump.

In 1986, she returned home to give birth this baby: me. I was her first child and the start of her own little family. But about four weeks after giving birth, per her work contract, she had to return to Saudi Arabia. ( Follow Filipino workers as they figure out life in the gulf countries. )

I was left in the care of my mom’s parents and one of her brothers. They raised me as if I were their own, until they were granted an opportunity they couldn’t pass up: moving to the United States.

They then left me in the care of one of my mom’s sisters and her husband. I would grow so close to them that I’d call them “Mommy” and “Daddy”, rather than the usual Tita meaning aunt or Tito meaning uncle. I’d see their children, who were technically my cousins, as my brother and sister.

My aunt would send my mother cassette recordings of me talking or singing as a toddler. My mom said she’d cry every time she listened to them. And when she would take her yearly trip back home to see me, she was met with a baby that cried because she didn’t recognize her.

Soon after Marlyn Henning and Angeli Gabriel arrived in the United States, they went to Universal Studios in Los Angeles, California. They took a photo with Fievel, a cartoon character from the immigrant story “An American Tail”.

My mom knew that her hands were tied. She felt that she couldn’t leave her job because so many family members back home were depending on her. That was the responsibility she bore, even if it meant only being able to see her own daughter once a year.

This part of our story is one my mom doesn’t tell that often. But when she does, her usually animated demeanor fades. I hear a tightness in her throat as she tries to speak. When she talks about this in-person, the only thing I can really do is give her a hug, because this period in our lives was just one of several times to come when she and I were separated.

After a few years, when our family was in a better place financially, she decided to move back home. She knew she wasn’t going to find a nursing job that paid as well as the one she had in Saudi Arabia, but she was willing to make the sacrifice so that she and I could be a family.

But rather than staying in the Philippines, she decided to set her sights on America. Her goal soon came to fruition when she was given an offer to work at Physician and Surgeon Hospital in Midland, Texas.

It was like a dream come true: she would be sponsored to immigrate to America and have guaranteed employment. The catch: she’d have to work a certain number of hours and pass an exam in order to stay employed and in the United States; if she failed, not only would she be sent back to the Philippines, but she’d have to pay back every cent invested into her travels.

When Gabriel was ten years old, she became a Raiders cheerleader for Fairview’s local peewee cheerleading squad. She would later cheer during middle school and high school, become captain of those squads. She later was offered a chance to cheer for college.

My mom decided to take that gamble and up the stakes. She only agreed to go if she could take her daughter with her. Her terms were accepted.

So there we were, on a plane to America. My mom was ready to start a new life with her daughter, dressed in pigtails.

But soon after we arrived to this new country, we were split apart yet again.

My mother needed to focus on her job. Our future and ability to stay in the U.S. depended on it. So, she sent me to live with family in Long Beach, California, where I was reunited with two familiar faces: my grandparents.

My grandfather was working as a janitor, and my grandmother stayed home to care for me. We went to church every Sunday, joining a Catholic congregation made up mostly of Filipinos. We also visited their senior citizen community center and catch up with other Filipino elders. I have fond memories of my grandparents on the dance floor, holding each other close, as they’d done for decades in the Philippines and now, in America.

In 2002, Nanay and Tatay went to live with their daughter and granddaughter in Fairview, Tennessee. They would often attend “The Music” on Friday nights, where they would dance to live country and bluegrass music.

Although life in the U.S. was not as easy as they’d hoped, they recognized how many opportunities it could still hold for me – even if it came at a cultural cost.

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This was most evident in their determination to have me learn and speak English. They, along with my mother, believed that the best way to ensure this was to stop speaking to me in our native Tagalog and our dialect Pangasinan and to only speak to me in English.

At one point, I not only learned how to speak English, but I also learned how to pick up the phone and call my mom. I’d ask her, “Ma, why am I the only one here who doesn’t have a mom?”. According to my grandmother, I was frustrated by how my mom could never visit. I’d point at a U.S. map during a call with her and say, “Texas is there, California is here. See? It’s not that far.”

Years later, on Mother’s Day 1993, my grandparents and I parted ways, and my mother and I reunited. She had passed the requirements for us to remain in the U.S., and we were able to become a family once again.

I was sad to leave my grandparents, but this reunion did grow our family by one. While in Texas, my mom met and fell in love with a fellow nurse at the hospital, and she brought him to meet me.

When Gabriel was about eight years old, she and her parents Dan and Marlyn Henning (far right) took a road trip from Nashville, Tennessee to Long Beach, California to visit family.

Originally hailing from Oklahoma, my stepdad introduced me to another side of American culture. I have fond memories as a child, waking up to songs by the Beach Boys or George Strait playing from the kitchen. I’d find my dad, a burly, 6-foot-tall white guy, tending to homemade sausage gravy simmering on the stovetop. When he’d see me, he’d start doing silly, dad-joke-level dance moves—anything to make me laugh.

His lightheartedness was accompanied by a deep respect for my family’s struggles. He recognized the pain of my mother’s and my near-constant separation, and he did what he could to reacquaint us after years of being apart.

Change was afoot once again, but this time, we experienced it together.

We moved to Tennessee for my father’s job, and we ended up establishing roots in a small town called Fairview. Unlike Long Beach, which was a bustling town of grey, city blocks, Fairview was calm, quiet, and lush with green. Our first home there was nestled in the woods.

To acquaint themselves with this new town, my parents decided to partake in one of Fairview’s popular activities: attending the high school’s football games. But on their first visit, my mother recalls looking around the bleachers and noticing another difference from Long Beach—everyone at the game was white. Knowing that I would stand out in this community with my black hair and brown skin, she couldn’t help but wonder how I would fit in.

Gabriel poses with childhood friends during her birthday party at a roller skating rink. Her parents gave her her first tennis racket that day and set Gabriel on a path that eventually led her to play for the high school tennis team.

Turns out that my mother had nothing to worry about. Classmates took an interest in my background and life in the Philippines, and they and their families treated me and my parents with respect and kindness. I grew up virtually clueless that I was any different from my blonde, blue-eyed, and freckled friends. I even picked up a little Southern lilt.

While my mother and I were finally together again, establishing roots in this new hometown, we began to drift once again. The distance we’d encountered time and again in a geographical sense began to manifest itself culturally.

My mother developed expectations of me that were rooted in traditional Filipino values, whereas I had expectations of myself that were rooted in American values. For example, what she perceived as disrespectful behavior, I perceived as standing up for what I believed in.

Despite our cultural disagreements, while I was in high school, my mother decided to bring us further into the American fold by having us become citizens. When I ask her about this decision, she brings it back to opportunity. “At the time, you had to be a citizen to apply for scholarships,” she said. “I wanted you to have all the education opportunities.”

Gabriel and her mom visit the Grand Canyon for the first time. The family took a three-day road trip from Nashville, Tennessee to Los Angeles, California, and stopped to see some of the country’s greatest sites.

I remember quizzing my mom about U.S. history to help prepare her for the citizenship test. We’d often sit on the front porch of our house to do this. It was usually dark, since we’d get together after she came home from work, and we’d flip through the list of questions by the warm yellow glow of the porch light.

Who was the first president of the United States? What do the stars and stripes on the American flag mean? My mother, educated in the Filipino school system, had to learn another country’s history from scratch.

Then, in 2002, she took and passed the text, and we became American citizens together.

In addition to learning about U.S. history, my mom and I learned about one crucial component of becoming Americans: You must have the ability to handle the distance from your home country, from loved ones, and from yourself.

My mother took ten years to afford our first trip home, after that initial flight in 1991 took us further away from the Philippines in ways we never expected. She spent years apart from her parents, her siblings, and her own daughter, missing countless milestones in their lives.

Now in her sixties, my mother has scaled back the hours she works and spends her new free time with my dad and herself, having for the first time the space to reflect, appreciate, and heal from the many turns her journey took.

Although she and I are once again apart, with her in Tennessee and me in D.C., we do our best to maintain a closeness we’ve been deprived of for so long.

While it would be ideal to be by her side as she tells her many stories, watching her as she motions through the air and seeing the expressiveness of her eyes, something as simple as a phone call, where I could hear her smile resonating through the line, is still as priceless a connection.

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Home Essay Samples Business Workers

The OFW Family: A Personal Narrative

What is an OFW?

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Curating Everyday Love Affair

Thoughts of a millenial growing her family overseas.

An Open Letter of an OFW Mom

To my daughter Anaiah,

This is the first Mother’s day that I am away from you. It has been a year since you went back to the Philippines. I want to say sorry for choosing to be far from you for a few years. I am sorry for making you miss us every morning when you wake up. (Please know that we miss you more) I am sorry for not being there physically to kiss your boo-boos away. I am sorry for watching you grow from a distance.

I want to thank you for being the best daughter I could ever have. Thank you for being candid in our video calls; for playing “scissors-paper-stone” with me virtually; for always prompting “hug time” and hugging the phone; for kissing me and your daddy non stop by kissing the phone screen; for being genuine with your feelings whenever you are upset and you miss us so much (you will hide behind anything whenever I say iloveyou). Thank you for making me laugh at your witty answers to my random questions; Thank you for making me feel so loved whenever you say, “i love you mommy.” Your dad and I are fortunate to have you as our first born.

It is a cliche but leaving you was the hardest decision I made so far. God knows how I exhausted every option i have just to bring you back to Singapore. Sadly, things did not turnout as what your dad and I wanted. At a very young age, I do not expect you to understand why we are apart. But i hope you appreciate what you have and let go of what you lack.

There are a lot more reasons than your future why mommy and daddy chose to be away; I will explain all of these to you next time.

I will understand if you feel incomplete; if you feel i love you less compared to the other mothers of your friends; if you hate me at some point; if you do not want to talk to me in our video calls because you’ll miss me more; if you tell me that you don’t need all the things I give you and you only need your parents. All your sentiments are valid. You can be sad and angry but I hope you learn to find beauty in everything. The world can be chaotic and yet exciting. Learn as much as you can from anything presented to you, may it be bad or good. Opportunities are abundant. Take charge of your emotions; only you can decide what to feel and see. Life will never be perfect but it is still beautiful.

While we are away, you may want to see how fortunate you are to have people around you loving you the best way they can. You have Mommy Lola, Wowa, Wowo, Mommy Ninang, Daddy Ninong, Ninong Josh, Ninong Jie, Mommy Tek, Kuya Jiggo and more. They are many to mention Aia. You may see that this setup only gives you material gains and mostly lost time. But while you lack time with us, you gain the chance of creating memories with your grandparents.

Anak, I do not intend to shield you from things that can hurt you. I only want to guide you how to respond accordingly, that’s why being away scares me. I am scared of failing in bringing out the best in you; of failing to be a mother to you. But I am trusting the process and I am letting God guide us along this rough patch. I believe we can do this together as a family and after this phase we’ll all be better.

We promise to grab every chance we get to spend time with you so you may feel that love is not just about being together but about being present at every moment we have. We promise not to stop to do everything we can so we may be together sooner; complete and prosperous.

Ps. Always remember, your dad and I always decide with the best intentions for our small family. You are very much loved. 

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When In Manila Search

The real story of ofws – from the viewpoint of an expatriate’s daughter.

OFW is short for Overseas Filipino Worker . Their career tracks may vary; they can be domestic helpers, drivers, construction workers, chefs, managers, doctors, nurses, engineers, and etc., but these citizens have a universal trait lying in their spirits – selflessness.

Your parents, relatives, or friends may have sacrificed for their families’ bright future. With a higher salary and better environment, it is not a surprise why they chose to work abroad rather than in the Philippines.

We constantly look forward to the pasalubong from our parents, close relatives, or even pals who arrived from other foreign countries, but have we ever taken into account the sacrifices they made to put us in high spirits? Have we ever cherished the detail that you entered their minds at some point?

They might have also lied to you when they told you they were happy — genuinely and perfectly happy — because sometimes, they are not. Living away from their families is a tricky and challenging situation. Yes, they may have a higher income suitable for their professions, but it’s not complete. Money is not everything, though it is true we need it to purchase the basic necessities of life. The OFWs can’t be there for their families’ birthdays and special events like graduation, Christmas , and New Year . They are not always there, so you can’t tell them how your day went. This is why I’m thankful for social networking sites.

Although, for OFWs, their efforts never feel like a waste if it is for the family. I salute them for that. Several even sacrifice what they eat just to send money to their families back home. They swallow their pride and absorb every criticism other nationalities throw at them. Believe it or not, even with degrees or advanced education, some of them are discriminated because of their nationality or appearances.

As a daughter of an expatriate in the Middle East , I have witnessed how Filipinos wrestle with the feeling of nostalgia day after day. I had a lot of time to discover who I truly am while unfolding the mysteries of their lives as well. I made friends who have gone through the same thing — being away with a loved one.

My dad has been an OFW since 2009, but the whole family only migrated here, in the Middle East, last 2013. Since the city we live in is two hours away from the capital, where the Philippine school is located, we were advised to try homeschooling  by knowledgeable parents. ( Hi, Tito Jun and Tita Alice! ) We all have to sacrifice! Many OFWs who are with their families here also considered the idea. It was the only way we could make things easier for both parties.

Year two and I’ve already learned many things from mingling with OFWs. Several problems affect and stress out our fellow nationals in foreign countries. First, they are not all keen about leaving their families for work, but it’s the only choice to keep them in good welfare. The standard of living and the value of education in the Philippines is continuously rising, too, so how can they stay there when they can earn twice as much in a foreign country? They have their goals for the future which seem unattainable in our country. It’s the sad truth.

Additionally, the time difference and distance do not help in formulating an indestructible foundation. They arrive home only to see their sacrifices taken for granted. Their children, wife, or husband may become detached from them. OFWs somehow become different people when they first leave and arrive back.

For them, gathering every now and then lessens the ache they are feeling. It’s the comforting feeling of knowing they are not alone. Sharing activities with other kababayans can help keep themselves from having a heavy heart. I’ve read some blogs by OFWs. It was fascinating to skim through it — it can make you emotional.

Continued on next page

About The Author

Kristin is currently a second-year college student at Mapúa University wherein she is pursuing Computer Engineering. Aside from being one of the youngest writers here on When in Manila, she is also a recognized officer and campus journalist at Mapúa. Kristin hopes to inspire others, especially teenagers, to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more.

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Hearts Apart: The Impact of Parental Migration on the Life of Left-Behind Filipino Adolescents

This descriptive study delved into the impact of parental migration to the academic, emotional, social and spiritual life of left-behind Filipino adolescents. Awareness on the reality of the situation of the left-behinds in different aspects of their life could be of great help to their carers and teachers in creating a meaningful and healthy environment that is facilitative of their growth as persons despite the absence of their biological parent/s. A survey using a researcher’s made questionnaire, mental ability and personality tests as well as interview and the respondents’ scholastic records were utilized in this study. Findings revealed that across the three groups of research participants (those with Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) father, those with OFW mother, and those with both parents abroad), all of them have good grades in school despite no parent/s assisting them to do their home works and projects plus the additional responsibilities at home for some of them. However, majority of the participants expressed that they feel deeply sad, longing for the physical presence of their parents, though they do not feel rejected and abandoned. For them, it is a tiresome cycle of adjustment every time their parent/s come/s home and then later leave/s them again to work abroad. Prayers continue to bind the Filipino families together despite physical distance. This study concludes that parents should support not just the economic, but also the psychological and the spiritual needs of their left-behind children to help them to cope well with the adversaries of life, thus keeping them away from vices and behavioral problems. Future study shall include more number of participants from different cultures to better see the significance of these findings in many varied family experiences of the adolescent left-behinds.

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Technology and social media has become a vital part of daily lives of people, especially children. There are advantages of using technology and being active on social media but there are equal disadvantages and risks that come along with excessive use of electronic devices. As per American Academy of Pediatricians children are spending 7 hours a day on media such as computers, phones, I-pads, television and other electronic devises. A child as young as age 2 starts using mobile phone to view rhymes and videos on you tube which brings many risks to their health and wellbeing. This paper reviews the literature and discusses the problems caused by social media, technology such as obesity, aggressive behavior, negative effects on mental health, cyber bullying, texting/sexting and contact to problematic and illegal content etc. in children from age 2 till 18. The paper highlights the ratio of UAE parents, who are aware of social evils and take measures to protect their children. Also, the study attempts to provide solutions and guidelines from pediatricians that would be helpful for parents and individuals, in addressing the difficulties instigated by electronic devices and social media in addition to molding their children as healthier citizens. We hope that this paper will make relevant institutions provide more educational platforms to parents in order to spread awareness about the impact of media on children along with appropriate measures that can be taken to deal with it. Keywords: Social Evils, Social Media and children, Risks of technology and media, General Pediatrics

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Energy efficiency is the attention-grabbing title of ecological sustainability. It is quite important that providing energy efficiency in residential buildings in terms of contribution to ecological sustainability. Traditional houses constructed before the widespread use of reinforced concrete structures are compulsorily compatible with nature due to the lack of energy efficiency technological possibilities. This harmonization is addressed and accepted by many researchers under different headings. Traditional Turkish Housing has different climatic characteristics. Main differences in Anatolian geography. Wooden Serender in the Black Sea Region, white houses made of stone in the Mediterranean Region, adobe or fictile houses in the Central and Eastern Anatolia Regions. All these houses of which different materyal have common design principles. The planning, interior organization and details are shaped according to both the common design principles and climatic and topographic characteristics of the region. In the planning, determining the general arrangement, the sun, prevailing wind direction and topography with the sofa (a kind of intermediate space between rooms), summer/winter floor and floor-top storey for living; in the interior organization interior arrangement and positions of sitting unit sedir (a kind of couch) and the fireplace; in the details bay window, upper window and so on are evaluated in terms of energy efficiency in this paper.

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While migrant work brings economic benefits to developing countries like the Philippines, the separation of overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) from their children for long periods of time makes poor families vulnerable to negative social and developmental consequences. This study investigates whether and how children of OFWs in poor communities maintain their connectedness with their migrant parents via Internet use at home and in cybercafés. Frequency of Internet use and use of online applications (e.g., chat, social networking, email) to communicate with their parents was determined from a sample of 308 adolescent and young adult participants from an urban and rural community. Connectedness was measured via the children's perceived knowledge of their parents' lives overseas, the children's perception of their parents' knowledge about them, and their perception of their parents' efforts to know more about them. Children whose primary Internet access was through cy...

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This qualitative research study was conducted to know the problems encountered by children of Overseas Filipino Workers. The interview was conducted with the children of Overseas Filipino Workers who are studying in Ayala High School during the school year 2018-2019. This study was limited to the number of children of Overseas Filipino Workers who served as the participants of this study. The one-to-one interview was utilized in this study. The objectives of this study are to determine the problems encountered by children of Overseas Filipino Workers, to determine the adjustments made by the children of Overseas Filipino Workers and to find out how did they cope with their problems. This study aimed to answer the following questions: What are the problems encountered by the participants?; What are the adjustments that the participants made when their parent started working abroad?; and How did the participants cope with these problems?. The result of analysis in our study in problems encountered by the children of Overseas Filipino Workers, is that they are having a hard time when they need their parents to share their problems, such as when there are someone bullying them, they only told it to their friends and relatives because their parents are not around to comfort them. In adjustments that the participants made when their parents started working abroad, the result that we got is When their parents left they are now the one who’s doing the household chores like washing clothes and cleaning house, children of OFWs particularly take that responsibility because their parents are not there to do that for them that's why they also learn to used to it and accepted that kind of situation, while in participants coping up with their problems, the result is children of OFWs spent time with their relatives and friends while their parents are not around and also they understand their parents because they know that the sacrifices they did is for them too to give them a better future. The following conclusions were drawn first, having a difficulty, when children of OFWs needed someone whom they can share their problems their parents are not around to comfort them. Second, the children of OFWs do a household chores and also used to it in that situation while their parents work in other country. Lastly, children of OFWs usually spent their time with their relatives and they also understand the situation because that's for their own good too.

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Study explores mental health and school outcomes of CHLB (children left behind) by migrant parents by comparing them with peers from non-migrant families in Kosovo. The study attempts to explore the mitigation of various ecological proxies in outcome variables. The study aims to expand the knowledge on impact of the relationship with the immediate caretakers of CHLB impact on their mental health and school outcomes. University students were used as informants and found CHLB by migrant parent and control subjects. The sample had equal number of children with migrant and non-migrant parent (n=412). Data analysis compared the findings between the groups and analyzed the impact of independent variables on outcome variables for both groups using linear regression analysis. Results demonstrate that CHLB do not show differences in depression scores but show lower school success and school-related problems as a result of parental migration. Results indicate that depression scores among CHLB were predicted by remittance-sending regularity and that school success from frequency of communication with the migrant parent. Migration within the country was found to predict depression and school outcomes for both groups of adolescents. Study lacks random selection procedures and has limited generalizability. Proxies measured in the study have no objective cross-checks. Findings could be useful for school psychologists,

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Essay on Mother for Students and Children

500 words essay on mother for school students.

First of all, Mother is a word which fills everyone with emotions . A Mother is certainly the most important human being in everyone’s life. Mother’s Love for her child certainly cannot be compared with anything. Her level of forgiveness is unmatchable. A Mother is capable of forgiving any wrongdoing. Mother is the most important woman in everyone’s life. A mother sacrifices her happiness for her child. No one else can care for their kids the way a Mother does.  A Mother is great and does not need anyone like me explaining that. This essay on Mother is a small attempt to discover the greatness of a mother.

Importance of a Mother

First of all, Mothers are highly responsible women. They certainly play a very important role in the upbringing of a chil d. Most noteworthy, Mothers play a huge role in determining a child’s attitude. Whether a child will be good or evil in the future depends upon the Mother. The moral values taught by Mother probably play a huge role. Individuals often remember their Mother’s values until old age. Hence, the Mother is responsible for the well-being of society. The future of society in a large way is the result of a Mother’s teaching.

Mothers share a deep connection with their children. This connection certainly cannot be matched by anyone else. Even fathers fail to establish that type of understanding. The origins of this connection happen from infancy. Most noteworthy, a Mother can understand her infant child without communication. This certainly develops a strong emotional connection between a mother and child. This bond seems to carry into adult life. A Mother, it seems like, can always tell when we are feeling hungry.

Mothers also are the emotional backbone of the family. They support everyone’s feeling in a family. Family members can certainly tell their emotions to Mothers without worry. An individual can share almost any secret with Mother. This is because Mothers have a huge level of trust with their family. Furthermore, Mothers have an extremely forgiving nature. Hence, even wrongdoing can be shared with a Mother.

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How to Support Mothers?

First of all, Mothers are precious gifts from God. Without mothers, life would certainly be dark and gloomy. Therefore, it is our duty to help and support our Mothers. One important way to do that is to help in chores. Individuals must try to do more household work. This would certainly reduce the burden of Mothers. Hence, this will also improve her health. Another way of supporting Mothers is to speak words of affirmation.

Most noteworthy, a Mother’s heart is made of gold. A few words of acknowledgment would fill her heart with happiness. There are probably several ways of doing so. One way is to praise the meal cooked by her. Above all, such acknowledgment should come on a regular basis.

A Mother is a gem in everyone’s life. She is the ultimate source of happiness for a child. Her contributions are certainly too great to imagine. Above all, her love is pure and innocent. To find a Mother who does not love is probably an impossible task.

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FAQs  – Essay on Mother

Q.1 At what age a child forms an emotional connection with Mother?

A.1 A child forms an emotional connection with his mother from the age of infancy.

Q.2 Mention one way in which children can help their Mothers.

A.2 Children can help their Mothers by speaking words of acknowledgment. This is one way of certainly helping Mothers.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Mother — Celebrating Mothers: A Reflection on Their Unconditional Love and Influence

Celebrating Mothers: a Reflection on Their Unconditional Love and Influence

• Categories: Mother Motherhood

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Words: 536 |

Published: Sep 5, 2023

Words: 536 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

The power of unconditional love, a legacy of love, embracing diversity, challenges and triumphs.

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The story of a hardworking mother is a testament to dedication and resilience. As she navigates the intricate web of responsibilities, she defies limitations and redefines societal expectations. Her ability to thrive as a [...]

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In the short story “Without Wood” by Amy Tan, Rose Hsu Jordan feels like she listened to other people more than her mom, and ended up with a mind full of other peoples’ English thoughts, leaving her confused and unreadable to [...]

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Essay on Mother | Long and Short Essays on Mother for Students and Children in English

May 5, 2022 by Prasanna

Essay on Mother: Mother as we all know is the greatest blessing of God in everyone’s life. The love and sacrifice a mother holds in her heart for her child is immeasurable and undoubtedly the maximum. A mother remains a mother for her child even if the child has now become an adult.

Without a mother the existence of this world is impossible and unimaginable. Mother is the first best friend or BFF as the children now say in a child’s life. It is really hard to find a true best friend like her who supports us in every difficult situation and the good deeds we do but also helps us to take the right path in life.

She is always there in our good as well as bad times. A child is the first priority of a mother even if she has to ignore herself for the child’s wellbeing. That is why, to celebrate the true spirit of motherhood, Mother’s Day is celebrated on 5th May of every year.

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Long Essay on Mother 650 Words in English

Mother can be defined as the source of joy and happiness in a person’s life. She is the one who from the birth of the child to his old age stands beside him in every phase of life. There’s a saying that God cannot be everywhere so he created Mother. It is actually true as she is like a goddess in everyone’s life caring and nurturing without any set terms and conditions.

He created someone who would bring joy and make a mundane life into a lively one because that is the requirement of a baby. She is patient, strong, supportive, lovable, humble, authoritative, all at the same time. All these qualities are very difficult to find in a single person but see we can all find them in a mother. She is an amazing human being who surprises us everyday with her incredible traits. She is the one who will accept her child in any situation no matter what.

She is the one who brought us into this world and is trying to protect us from any evil eye. We hear people saying that internal beauty is more impressive than outside beauty, a mother is the perfect example of this as she has the most loving heart with the face of an angel. For a child his or her mother is the most beautiful person in this whole world. A mother’s bravery can be compared to a warrior as she will fight to any extent against any odds for the safety and well-being of her child.

Every child should try to be brave like their mother who is not willing to give up when difficulties show up. The compassion a mother holds proves to be the strength for a person whenever they find themselves in a difficult situation. A mother tries to stay updated with the latest trends in every area so that her child can discuss everything with her without any hesitation due to the age difference. She is the friend, philosopher, guide and teacher in each one’s life no matter how old we get, we still need her.

She can tell whether our situation is happy or sad just by looking at our faces, without a word spoken. She helps in our decisions be it career-related, educational, or any other irrespective of or without any bias. She is the one who takes us on the right path if we get distracted or get involved in the wrong company. How lucky are those people who get the selfless and unconditional love of their mothers? A mother is a mother after all who is the representative of God on this earth. What a child shares with her mother are a lifelong bond that is created just after the moment a child is born. A mother’s love is extremely important for the healthy upbringing of a child.

Short Essay on Mother

• A mother as we all know is the epitome of love and sacrifice. She is always ready to do anything for her child even if it is the risk of her own life.
• She is the one who works for the child’s wellbeing, growth, development, and welfare all through her life. She feels herself committed to the child she has given birth to without any expectations or conditions.
• A mother plays a very important role in a person’s life as she is the protector, guide and philosopher of him or her. That is why everyone needs a mother even if they themselves have grown into adults and have even entered parenthood.
• A young mother also needs the guidance of her mother to take care of the newborn as a mother can only guide us to the right path.
• Mothers often spend sleepless nights in order to take care of the newborn or the sick child without any complaints. She teaches us to remain strong in every difficult situation of our life.
• She is like a goddess or has superpowers because she takes away all the pains and difficulties of a family in such an easy way.
• Mothers are very soft-hearted and can melt even if the child has a little cold and cough. They cannot see their child in any difficult or uncomfortable situation.
• They are humble, simple, and always ready to participate in a kid’s talks and activities.
• She is a living example of how to face a difficult situation, how to multitask and that too with utmost love and care.
• Every person has a teacher in their mother who inspires them to achieve their goals, stay happy and healthy.

FAQ’s on Mother Essay

Question 1. What is the best definition of the word Mother?

Answer: A mother is a female parent of the child. She gives birth and also takes care of the child. She’s full of warmth and love. She acts as a teacher, a friend, a doctor and plays all roles for the betterment of her children.

Question 2. What does it mean to be a mother?

Answer: Being a mother is a tough task as you need to always keep your children on priority. Nowadays mothers multitask and also give importance to themselves to take better care of their kids as you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Question 3. Why do you love your mother?

Answer: I love my mother. She’s always there for me. She’s my strength and critic too. She acts as a teacher, chef, and doctor for me. She’s so loving and joyful.

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Searching for My Mom, and the History of La Puente’s ‘Little Watts’

Greenberry, where she taught for decades, helped forge today’s multi-racial san gabriel valley.

After a photo of her recently deceased mother arrived in the mail, scholar Gilda L. Ochoa sought to understand more of her mother’s past—and came across a local history of Black-Latino solidarity in La Puente. Top left: Envelope from 2022 containing a photograph of the author’s mom, Francesca Ochoa. Bottom left: Francesca’s homeroom class photos, 1972-1973. Middle photo: Francesca standing at Sparks Middle School circa 1970. Right: Sparks yearbook cover, 1970-1971. Photos courtesy of author.

by Gilda L. Ochoa | August 15, 2024

I lost my mom to COVID in February 2021. She died alone, after spending 10 excruciating days in the hospital. A year after her death, a white envelope with no return address arrived in my Pomona College mailbox. Inside was a photo of my mom from the early 1970s.

In the photo, she is standing between two corridors of Sparks Middle School’s brick campus in La Puente, where she taught until she retired in 2008. She smiles gently, with her arms by her side. Her hair is long and straight, and she is wearing a sleeveless dress. She looks so young.

She was gone, and there were so many things I couldn’t ask her. For years, as a researcher and resident, I wrote about La Puente’s Mexican community and its fight for educational justice. My mom’s death—and that precious photo—made me consider new questions about the past. I began wondering about Greenberry, East San Gabriel Valley’s first Black suburban neighborhood, sometimes called “Little Watts.” Some of my mom’s early students lived there. I first heard about this neighborhood from her, but still knew next to nothing about it.

I wanted to be near my mom, and I wanted to learn Greenberry’s history. I began reaching out to some of the students she taught in the 1970s, and digging through yearbooks, newspaper articles, church records, and city council and school board minutes. I learned that Black residents in La Puente, so often forgotten, challenged multiple forms of racism. At times, they found common cause with Mexican Americans and other allies, including my Sicilian American mom. Indeed, Greenberry and its now-hidden history of activism helped forge today’s multi-racial San Gabriel Valley.

My family’s history, and specifically my mom’s early years at Sparks, intersected with Greenberry’s growth and its residents’ fight for equality. First-generation college graduates committed to social justice, my parents returned to La Puente—the multi-racial blue-collar city where their Sicilian and Nicaraguan immigrant parents lived—to become junior high school teachers. In the early 1970s, they rented a house on Evanwood Avenue, less than a mile south of Greenberry.

Pushed out of South Central Los Angeles by urban renewal, eminent domain, and the 1965 Watts uprising, Black families, some originally from the South and Midwest, moved to Greenberry in the 1960s. Newly suburbanized La Puente had relatively affordable homes, so Black families bought there and created a thriving community. White real estate agents, however, sought to preserve all-white neighborhoods. Fueled by racist beliefs that Black residents would lower home values, they steered Black families south of Francisquito Avenue into an unincorporated area of Los Angeles County just outside the then-white middle-class city of West Covina. Greenberry Drive led to the enclave’s three main blocks—Greenberry, Glenshaw, and Evanwood.

Former residents fondly describe late midcentury Greenberry as a “village.” Black families integrated existing churches, and Black pastors established new ones. Black women hosted parties and games of bid whist and dominos. The community discussed issues that impacted the village and in 1964, frustrated with ongoing discrimination, established the La Puente-West Covina branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). They fought segregated housing in West Covina, and curriculum tracking and IQ testing in schools.

Children who grew up in Greenberry went to Sparks, where my mom taught Spanish and language arts to the area’s Black, Mexican, white, and few Asian American students. She wanted students to leave feeling better about themselves than when they entered. During Mom’s Zoom memorial, former student and Greenberry resident Keith Williams recalled, “The thing I valued most from Ms. Francesca Ochoa is the way she always finished her Spanish class, ‘Que tengas un buen día. Have a nice day.’ She showed us that she cared.”

Living in the school district where my parents taught, the lines between work and home often blurred. My mom’s 1970s students told me they occasionally dropped by our home to make the 10-minute walk to school with Ms. Ochoa. Some even remembered hearing toddler-me crying in the background.

Shortly after Mom arrived at Sparks, the local NAACP allied with the La Puente-area Organization of Mexican American Communities and La Raza Unida Party to fight police brutality and to increase the number of Black and Chicana/o educators. They pushed for Chicano and Black Studies classes, and in 1972, demanded that the school district make one year of Chicano and Black Studies a graduation requirement for all high school students. My mother taught Chicano studies for several years.

As I learned more about Greenberry and its history of Black activism, I found my mother in the historical record. Lionel J. Brown came up often in my research: a president of the area NAACP, an organizer against police violence, and a teacher who advocated for, and then chaired, a council to address racial discrimination in the school district. Through school board minutes, I discovered that my mom and Mr. Brown participated together in a multi-day workshop in 1974 titled “Different Aspects of Mexican Culture.”

I was eager to find Mr. Brown, and I looked for him at his old address. The owner told me Mr. Brown lost his home to foreclosure in the early 1980s; he stored some of Mr. Brown’s items for a few years, but never saw him again. This was the closest I came to finding Lionel Brown. I was overcome with sadness—a sense of loss thinking about how he was pushed out of his home and community, and a sense of loss reflecting on how his labor to improve our area is unknown to too many.

Almost none of the Black families in Greenberry remain today. In the late 1970s, many of the neighborhood youth left for the military, college, or work. Priced out of the area and able to purchase newer and larger homes further east, young families went to the Inland Empire; their parents, like mine, passed away. I spoke with 65-year-old Ethel Smith, who lived in Greenberry from 1969 to 1976, and recently visited the neighborhood, hoping to reconnect with old memories. “It’s sad,” she grieved, “I went through Greenberry to reminisce, and I can’t remember people whose houses I’ve been to. I can’t remember where they lived.”

But relationships endure, even as the community is now physically dispersed. Greenberry’s former residents have met for yearly reunions since 2012. “How many communities from the ’70s—communities not families—get together once a year?” Keith Williams marveled when I visited him as part of my research into the neighborhood. “I don’t know of any communities that have such an interwoven connection with one another,” he reflected. The seeds that the original residents planted, Keith observed, have connected the former Greenberry residents’ kids, grandkids, and great grandkids.

Recovering local histories of placemaking, like Greenberry’s, teaches us about our interrelated and unequal pasts, and about the times that people have united for change. Researching Greenberry’s past has been part of my own remembering—a way to stay connected with my mom, honor the relationships she maintained, and hold onto the love she conveyed. It has exposed interconnected and transgenerational relationships and on-going struggles for justice.

For all of this, I’m grateful to former Greenberry residents. I hope to ensure more people learn about this past, and the community’s work—for them, for my mom, and ultimately for us all.

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Strength in sacrifice: OFW women in the UAE

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This is AI generated summarization, which may have errors. For context, always refer to the full article.

In the United Arab Emirates (UAE), having a Filipina nanny is considered a status symbol.

She is recognized for her caring, nurturing ways and natural love for children.

Some sociologists call this a transfer of affection or a caregiver’s way of dealing with not being able to give her own children love and affection by rechanneling her attention to her ward.

An honorable profession

“When it comes to being a nanny or caregiver, the Filipina is the best in her class. She’s the top of the line. It is an honorable profession. As a caregiver, she is entrusted with the most vulnerable in the home: the young and the elderly,” said Ambassador Grace Princesa, Philippine Ambassador to the UAE.

The 2012 Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) estimates show that there are more than 900,000 Filipinos in the UAE. More than 75% of them are temporary workers and around 22% are irregular migrants – those who are not properly documented, do not have valid residence or work permits, or who are overstaying.

“About 10% of Filipinos in the UAE are working as domestic workers or nannies,” Princesa added.

Between mothers

When she opened it and saw the pictures of her two children, Joy and Jim, and her mother, she looked up at me and asked, “ Sa akin na po ito ?” (Are these mine now?) I gave Norma Brion the envelope, vaguely telling her I had brought her something from the Philippines.

“ Opo. Dala po namin yan para sa ‘yo .” (Yes. We really brought those for you.)

In the 8 years that Norma Brion has been working as a nanny and domestic helper in Abu Dhabi, she has gone home to the Philippines to be with her children only twice.

“ Nang iwan ko sila, ang liliit pa nila. Tignan mo na sila ngayon, ga-graduate na ng college si Joy,” she said running her hand over the photos.

(When I left them, they were so small. Look at them now. Joy is about to graduate from college.)

At that point, I was no longer the journalist and Norma was no longer the respondent. We were just two mothers. (Read more about Norma and her children here )

Veiled stigma 

“Nakatapos ako ng business wala naman opportunities sa Cotabato. Yun mga lalaki, lumalaban o nagtatanim. Yun mga babae wala. So naisipan ko mamasukan na lang sa Kuwait. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano o saan yun.”

(I graduated with a business degree but there are no employment opportunities in Cotabato. The boys go off to fight or farm, but there is nothing there for the women. So I thought of looking for domestic work in Kuwait. I didn’t even know where Kuwait is.)

“ Hindi ko na naisipan mag-try mamasukan sa Manila. Sabi nila mas mahihirapan ako dun kasi masama tingin nila sa Muslim, mga terrorista daw ,” Farida said.

(I didn’t even try to find domestic work in Manila. They told me it would be harder for me there because Muslims have a reputation for being terrorists.)

Statistics show that in the provinces of ARMM, Maguindanao and CAR, women migrants outnumber their male counterparts. (READ: Muslim women: ‘We are not limited because we wear a hijab’ )

According to the Philippine Statistics Authority  (PSA), for every 10 women who work abroad, there are 11 men.

However, gender distribution of OFWs is very different for SOCCSKARGEN, Cagayan Valley, ARMM and CAR (Cordillera Administrative Region). In these areas, from 2008-2010, for every 3-5 male OFWs, there were 10 female OFWs.

The Yaya Sisterhood   

“I come from a family of 13. We’re all named after famous Filipino celebrities,” said Nida Velonza, laughing. “Me, I’m named after Nida Blanca.”

When Nida first began working as a nanny in Dubai, she kept thinking about her sisters back in the Philippines who were struggling to make ends meet.

“My sister, Gloria and her husband, only had soup to eat because they had to give the meat to the kids. Mayra’s husband did not work. Maricel got pregnant and her boyfriend left her. My other sister, Perla, was not married and did not have kids but she was working at a dead-end job in a factory.”

Nida then decided to bring her sisters one by one starting with her Ate Mayra. Then, she and Mayra pooled funds together to bring Alma, then Gloria, then Perla and finally Maricel to Dubai.

Currently, there are 6 of them working in Dubai as nannies. At the time this photo was taken, one sister, Alma, was in the Philippines on holiday.

“There are a lot of people who look at us and are envious. When we get together at the park or attend community functions on our days off, we make it a point to come in the same color,” giggled Mayra.

“When we call our parents every week, they ask to speak to us one by one and check attendance. We charge those who are absent AED 20!” said Perla, piping in.

“I’m happy –  we’re happy. My sisters and I have each other here to depend on and to go to. When we eventually go home to the Philippines, we might put together a small business like a grocery or something. We don’t know yet but it will still be us sisters helping each other out. Like they say, blood is thicker than water,” said Nida.

When wards become children 

Nida Velonza’s only son, Nicos, was 2 months old when she left him. “I was still breastfeeding him,” she recalled.

She had been working as a nanny for many years at that time, but was hard-pressed to find economic opportunities in the Philippines. “There was nothing for me and my son there and my husband was of no help. I had to leave,” she said.

Nida has been taking care of her ward, Alps, since he was 6 months old. Alps is now 6 years old and almost the same age as Nicos.

“Everything I could not do for Nicos, I do for Alps. I sometimes think I don’t know my son. I don’t what he favorite color is, what his favorite food is – the things I know about Alps. I love and care for someone else’s child but can’t be there for my own son.”

Catching up

Socorro Magramo has a lot of catching up to do.

She spent 18 years in the monastery and has spent almost the same number of years taking care of other people’s children.

“I’m 58 years old now. It’s too late for me to have kids of my own because of my age,” she smiled. “But I want to have a partner, in this lifetime if possible…maybe soon,” she added, laughing good-naturedly.

“Now, all I want is reward myself for the long period of taking care of other people, other children, and helping my nieces and nephews finish their studies.”

“Actually I have a boyfriend, we’re in a long-distance relationship,” said Socorro with a twinkle in her eye.  – Rappler.com

This photo essay is part of the series “Who Takes Care of Nanny’s Children?”, a multi-media reporting project that follows the path of feminized migration starting from areas in the Philippine where most OFW families live to Dubai, UAE and Paris, France. For more stories about OFWs and Pinoys abroad visit www.rappler.com/balikbayan

This project is supported by the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting in Washington, D.C. under the Persephone Miel Fellowship.

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Beyoncé’s Mom, Tina Knowles, Reaches Divorce Settlement With Richard Lawson 13 Months After Filing Papers

Beyoncé’s mom, Tina Knowles , has reached a settlement in her divorce with ex-husband, Richard Lawson.

The settlement, reported by People on Friday August 16, comes 13 months after Knowles, 70, filed papers in July 2023 following eight years of marriage to the actor, 77.

Knowles filed the legal paperwork on July 26, 2023, according to documents obtained by Us Weekly — just one day after the listed day of separation. Knowles cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split.

The papers added that the “irremediable breakdown of the marriage [made] it impossible for the parties to live together as husband and wife.”

Related: Tina Knowles and Richard Lawson: The Way They Were

Knowles and Lawson wed in 2015 in Newport, California. The twosome tied the knot onboard a 140-foot yacht in an intimate ceremony .

Knowles’ daughters Beyoncé, 42, and Solange, 38, were in attendance.  Beyoncé’s husband Jay-Z, 54, and their eldest daughter, Blue Ivy, 12, were also there to witness the big day.

Prior to their marriage and subsequent divorce, Knowles and Lawson were platonic friends for decades before things eventually turned romantic.

Knowles gushed over her then-husband during an appearance on the Taron Hall Show in 2022.

 “I’ve known Richard for 40 years, and when we reconnected, it was just, I felt like, a gift from God,” she recalled. “I really mean that because I prayed. After I went through a divorce, it was pretty devastating after 33 years, and I always planned on, if it was in God’s plan, to get married again because I like being married. I like being in a relationship. But it was pretty scary for a minute, but he came back into my life and has been wonderful.”

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Related: Celebrity Splits of 2024: Stars Who Have Called It Quits This Year

Following their nuptials, Lawson had also gushed over Knowles via a post on his Instagram stories, recalling the past 39 years of knowing her.

“I thought you were one of the most beautiful women I had ever met. Breathtaking.!!” Lawson wrote at the time.

He added: “The thing that was so striking was that your beauty continued to be enhanced by your incredible heart, compassion, empathy, generosity, and philanthropy. You were pregnant with Beyonce at the time, and married, so my incredible attraction for you then, could only live in my fantasy. As we remained friends throughout the years, I took great pleasure in observing you become the ultimate mother, especially for your own daughters, but also for the way you care for and nurture women all over the world.”

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Tina knowles, more stories.

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Matthew perry death probe reveals new details of final hours: ‘shoot me up with a big one’.

Beloved “Friends” star Matthew Perry had apparently urged his assistant to “shoot me up with a big one” in the moments leading up to him overdosing on a deadly batch of ketamine last year, it has been revealed.

The timeline of Perry’s harrowing final hours was laid bare in court papers after his live-in assistant, Kenneth Iwamasa, and four others were charged Thursday in connection with the Hollywood actor’s shocking death last October.

On the morning of his death, Perry, 54, is said to have asked the long-time assistant to administer the first ketamine shot of the day at about 8:30 a.m., according to the plea agreement Iwamasa went on to sign.

Four hours later, Iwamasa injected another dose while the actor was watching a movie at his Pacific Palisades home, the filing said.

It was only about 40 minutes later that Perry asked for yet another ketamine shot, Iwamasa recalled, according to the court papers.

“Shoot me up with a big one,” the actor apparently told Iwamasa before instructing his assistant to prepare the hot tub.

Here are the latest stories on the late Matthew Perry

• Matthew Perry death probe reveals new details of final hours: ‘Shoot me up with a big one’
• Five people — including his assistant and two doctors — arrested in Matthew Perry’s ketamine death after police probe
• Anna Faris opens up about working with ‘incredible’ Matthew Perry on ‘Friends’ final season
• Matthew Perry had over $1.5 million in personal bank account before his death
• ‘Multiple people’ may be charged in Matthew Perry’s ketamine death after police investigation: report
• Jennifer Aniston breaks down in tears over Matthew Perry after being asked about ‘Friends’
• Matthew Perry death, source of ketamine being investigated by law enforcement

After injecting his boss with the third dose in as little as six hours, Iwamasa set off to run errands, the documents say.

Iwamasa, who had worked for the actor since 1994, found Perry face down in the hot tub when he eventually returned to the home.

At the time of his death, Perry had been undergoing weeks of ketamine therapy for depression.

Here's what you need to know about the hallucinogenic ketamine

• Ketamine is a dissociative anesthetic, making patients feel detached from their pain and environment.
• While leaving users feeling calm and immobile, ketamine has been abused recreationally as a “club drug” and to facilitate sexual assault.
• Celebrity endorsements are one of the reasons for the increased amount of prescriptions for ketamine in recent years.
• In 2019, the Food and Drug Administration approved Spravato , a nasal spray version of the narcotic, for treatment-resistant depression. 
• Actor Matthew Perry , before his tragic passing on Oct. 28, 2023, was undergoing “ketamine infusion therapy” for “depression and anxiety.”

His assistant told authorities he had administered at least 27 shots of ketamine to his boss during the final five days of his life alone — including the last three that prosecutors allege resulted in his “death and serious bodily injury.”

Iwamasa was charged alongside two doctors, Salvador Plasencia and Mark Chavez, as well as alleged street dealer Erik Fleming, and Jasveen Sangha, the so-called “Ketamine Queen of Los Angeles.”

From September until Perry’s Oct. 28 death, prosecutors allege, Plasencia and Chavez allegedly supplied the actor with about 20 vials of ketamine in exchange for around $55,000 in cash.

Iwamasa, who had no medical training, was injecting the drugs into Perry based on instructions from Plasencia, prosecutors said.

Authorities believe that Perry’s final, fatal dose of ketamine was supplied by Sangha.

Plasencia and Sangha are both charged with one count of conspiracy to distribute ketamine over Perry’s death.

Fleming, Iwamasa and Chavez all copped plea deals in exchange for pleading guilty to various charges, including conspiracy to distribute ketamine and conspiracy to distribute ketamine resulting in death.

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Guest Essay

My Mother’s Favorite Music Taught Me How to Live Courageously

By Maria Garcia

Ms. Garcia is the creator and host of the Juan Gabriel podcast “ My Divo .”

In the thick of the pandemic I moved back to El Paso, Texas, on the U.S.-Mexico border, where I’d been raised, for what I thought would be a temporary stay. But then the desert whispered. After years away, my body hungered for the quiet wisdom of this land.

I’d changed since I’d left. In New York and Boston, I had lived openly as a queer woman. I found myself being more discreet around my family in El Paso and Ciudad Juárez, Mexico, where I was born. There are plenty of queer people living full, open lives here. But none of them are in my family.

As soon as Covid restrictions eased, I began crossing the border into Ciudad Juárez by foot to sing karaoke with my queer friends whenever I needed release. My favorite songs to sing were those by the iconic Mexican showman Juan Gabriel. I loved reveling in my queerness and my culture all at once. I longed for that liberation around my family.

Music has the power to help us understand ourselves. Juan Gabriel’s tender femininity was a radical quality in a Mexico entrenched in machismo and homophobia. He managed to embody his Mexican roots while also exuding queerness — two ideas that were for so long at odds in our culture.

I inherited my love for Juanga, as he was affectionately called, from my mother. He was her first crush and her ultimate hometown hero. On those nights in Juárez when I’d belt out his songs the question would surface: If my Mexican mother could accept him as he was, could she accept me, too?

When I explain Juan Gabriel to American friends, I tell them to imagine an artist as revolutionary, innovative and singular as Prince and as peacockish, prolific (he composed more than 1,800 songs!) and canonized as Elton John. Someone once told me no one has made Latin Americans cry, laugh and dance more.

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