poems about homework excuses

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JOSIE'S POEMS Funny Poems   for Children By Josie Whitehead

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NOT DONE  YOUR HOMEWORK? By Josie Whitehead

There are a million, billion reasons      Why their homework’s not been done, But, listed here are some of them      And I think you’ll find them fun:

'My baby brother tore it up      And ate it for his tea.' 'Our puppy came and sniffed at it,       Then used it for a wee.'

'I left it in the house somewhere,     But where, I had forgotten. Dad, thinking it was toilet paper,      Used it on his bottom.'

'It got mixed with the washing,      Then went through the machine, But look!  We saved the paper       And it came out really clean!'

'I prefer to do my homework        In the cemetery at night - b u t  A ghost came up and scared me     And I dropped it in my fright.'

'My psychiatrist told me yesterday     That it’s not good for the brain, So I quickly tore my homework up     And chucked it down the drain.'

The reasons why it’s not been done       Can really be absurd. Now teacher where’s your thinking cap?     Get ready with your words!

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Homework Excuses

by RaiScar*   Jul 12, 2006 category : Fun, humor / for kids

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14 Hilarious Homework Excuses

If you're an educator, you've undoubtedly heard your fair share of excuses from students who don't have their assigned homework with them, which can range from plausible to hilariously absurd.

We've compiled some of the best homework excuses that educators in our Facebook community have heard during their time in the wacky world of teaching.

Students' Best Excuses 

This piece was originally submitted to our community forums by a reader. Due to audience interest, we’ve preserved it. The opinions expressed here are the writer’s own.

Loving. Healing. Touching.

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My Big Fat Cat

Funny poem for kids, homework excuse, i am new to poetry (having only started last year), but i believe some of my work is quite good quality. anyway, you be the judge..

This story is hilarious! Coming across this story, it reminds me of my fat cat, Ziggy, also known as Tubby once her grew. I would compare him to a lot of fat jokes, but apart from that, he's...

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Published by Family Friend Poems May 2017 with permission of the Author.

I own a big fat cat- The fattest for miles around. Wherever there's lots of food, That's where he'll be found. He's really good at eating. It's a talent, I suppose. I'm sure if he keeps at it He'd win the talent shows. I own a big fat cat- He weighs at least a ton. He couldn't run to save his life. Yes, he isn't much fun. His favourite room's the kitchen. (I'm sure we all know why.) He eats just about everything, So that's why, with a sigh... I'd like to tell you, Teacher, I'd like to tell you straight, I might have "accidentally" dropped My homework in his plate.

Poem of the Day for: 2018-05-27

Pets have distinct characteristics. In this funny poem, the poet expands on his cat’s love of eating (and even uses that to get out of doing homework).

Connect Over a Poem:

The speaker in this poem blames his cat for eating his homework. Have you ever made up an excuse to get out of doing homework (or something else)? Did it work?

Fun Activity:

Write a four-line stanza about your pet using this template from the first stanza of this poem. If you don’t have a pet, write this short poem about one you would like to have.

Stanza from the poem:

I own a big fat cat- The fattest for miles around. Wherever there's lots of food, That's where he'll be found.

I own a ______ (adjective) _______ (pet). The _______ (adverb) for miles around. Wherever there's lots of _______(noun), That's where he'll be found.

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• 2 years ago

This poem is so silly! It will make you laugh your socks off!!

• 3 years ago

This story is hilarious! Coming across this story, it reminds me of my fat cat, Ziggy, also known as Tubby once her grew. I would compare him to a lot of fat jokes, but apart from that, he's funny just like this story! I'm definitely using this poem for my future English analysis.

• 5 years ago

This poem is a very silly poem. I wish it were read aloud for kids.

I love this poem. It is beautiful and so amazing. I could read it a thousand times and be perfectly fine. It is BEAUTIFUL.

• 6 years ago

I like this poem so much! I will choose it for the poetry recital competition in my school because I think this poem is so funny!

This story is hilarious and amazing! I'm personally a huge fan of cats, so this is like the best poem I have ever read. I love this poem so, so much, and I loved how well it took on the famous theme of "my dog at my homework." I recommend this poem for cat lovers or anyone, really.

As a cat lover, I definitely enjoyed this poem. You were very clever to do a new take on the old theme of "My dog ate my homework." And then the surprise ending about it landing on her plate was terrific. I enjoy reading (and writing) humorous poems. This put a smile on my face. Good work.

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1 Love Poems

School excuses: my dog ate my homework poems | 1lovepoems.

Unleash the Fun: My Dog Ate My Homework Poems

Welcome to 1LovePoems, where we take the classic excuse “my dog ate my homework” to the next level with a collection of hilarious and charming poems. Whether you’re looking for a silly rhyme to lighten the mood or a heartfelt verse to express your love for your furry friend, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this range of poems about our four-legged homework helpers. Who knows, you may even find some inspiration for your next excuse!

Short Poems

1. “The Excuse” My dog ate my homework, I swear that it’s true, He gobbled it up, Before I even knew.

2. “The Apology” Dear Teacher, I’m sorry, My dog was to blame, He chewed up my homework, It’s my fault, I’m ashamed.

3. “The Confession” I’ll tell you the truth, My dog didn’t eat, I procrastinated, And now I’m a cheat.

4. “The Resolution” No more excuses, I’ll do it on time, Homework complete, And no more canine crime.

Medium Poems

1. “Excuses, Excuses”

My dog ate my homework, oh what a cliché, But when I walked in my room, I knew it was true all the way. The papers were scattered, a mess on the floor, My dog looked up, guilty as ever before.

I searched for a reason, an excuse that would stick, But I knew deep inside, I had only one trick. So I hung my head, and as tears filled my eyes, I said to my teacher, “I’m sorry, please don’t penalize.”

2. “Man’s Best Friend”

My dog ate my homework, I know it sounds absurd, But it’s true, I swear it, every single word. He’s my best friend, always by my side, But in that moment, he couldn’t resist his canine pride.

I begged and pleaded, to no avail, My homework was gone, beyond the pale. But as I looked at my dog, with his wagging tail, I realized it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t help but prevail.

3. “The Last Straw”

My dog ate my homework, again and again, I couldn’t take it, I was driven insane. So I made a plan, to end this silly game, And prevent my dog from taking the blame.

I kept my homework far from his reach, And finally, he couldn’t quite breach. So now, when I hand in my work, I can finally breathe, without a quirk.

The Great Excuse

I’ll tell you a tale that’s hard to swallow, About a dog who ate my homework, oh so hollow. It may seem like an old cliche, But it really happened to me, I’m here today to say.

It was late at night, and I was feeling quite weary, I had a project due, and was feeling quite dreary, I had spent all night on the assignment at hand, But then I realized, I didn’t have a plan.

I knew I couldn’t make the midnight deadline, So, I decided to lie and say that I was just fine, I told my teacher a dog ate my paper, It sounded like a fib, it made them taper.

The teacher just rolled their eyes and said, You’d better have that homework done by next week or you’ll be dead. I was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to do, But then I thought of a plan, which I would pursue.

I went home and searched for the perfect pooch, It had to be a breed with a guilty rooch, I found the perfect one that very night, I named him “Homework,” and thought I was quite bright.

The next day, I walked into class with a grin, I had my homework in my hand, as I strolled in, My teacher couldn’t believe what they had seen, Homework wasn’t due for another week, it was just obscene.

But then the teacher noticed the bite marks and tears, The paper was in a million pieces, it brought tears, They looked at me and said, “This is ridiculous, it’s not your fault”, But I didn’t feel bad, I knew I had found the perfect vault.

As time went on, I’d always blame my pup, For eating my work, it became my go-to backup, I never got caught, not even once, My excuse was so believable, it was full of fun.

So, if you ever need an excuse to skip your homework, Just tell them your dog ate it, you’ll twist their mind cork, But be warned, it may become a bad habit, Your dog might become famous, and people might grab it.

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The 100 FUNNIEST Excuses For Not Doing Homework, Courtesy of My Students

Posted on Published: November 19, 2023

By: Author Jane Morris

Students throw out all kinds of excuses for not getting their homework done! From believable excuses to the tried and true classic “ my dog ate it” , teachers hear a lot of excuses every damn day.

It doesn’t help that by now, the behavioral expectations for students have become so loose that students can pretty much say whatever they want without consequence. These days, the excuses are that much more interesting. (And honest.)

Over the course of nearly two decades of teaching, I heard every homework excuse in the book. Better yet, I’ve saved my favorites! And rounded them up here for your viewing pleasure.

So let’s share in the giggles together! I’ve rounded up 100 of the BEST homework excuses I’ve ever heard. The laughs are good for the soul.

And probably your patience too! Some of these you’ve likely heard before. There might not be a lot of foolproof excuses for not doing your homework, but there sure are a lot of fools that come up with some real stinkers!

So for your enjoyment (and definitely not to be actually used in a real-life classroom), here are 100 odd, creative, nonsensical, and hilarious excuses from students for not doing their homework!

100 Funniest Excuses for Not Doing Homework: A Story of Student Shenanigans

If it’s your first day in the teaching profession , you might think homework excuses are few and far between. At the very least, you might think students bother making good excuses.

Well, you’d be wrong on both counts! You will be fed excuse after excuse from students for not having finished their homework, and very few of them will sound believable.

So new teachers, pay attention! Here is some of the ludicrousness you can expect from your class. And it WILL be on the test.

As for all my kindred season educators, sit back and enjoy the ride! Maybe grab a moist towelette…

Cause it’s about to get juicy.

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Homework Excuses That Are Pure Nonsense!

Man, kids say the silliest things to teachers . From being arrested by the FBI to simply having a gross pimple, the excuses for not having done homework often make no sense…

But they are highly entertaining!

• I got this thing where I can’t read.
• I was arrested by the FBI but it was a case of mistaken identity!
• The microwave was erasing all of my work and that’s why it was all turned in blank.
• I swear I did the work but the answers kept falling off my paper!
• My homework ate my dog!
• The elf on the shelf erased it.
• I had a crusty pimple.
• An electrostatic spark tore a hole in the space-time continuum. My paper was transported back through time and was found and published by a random person. Now I have to redo my assignment because it would be plagiarism to hand in my original.
• I care about trees too much to use paper.
• A gang broke into my house and stole the bag it was in.
• The military accidentally blew it up.
• My water bottle spilled in my backpack and it turned my homework into a brick of ice overnight.
• I did all my other homework and at that point, I needed personal time.
• I died in a car crash.
• I don’t care about homework because I don’t care about education.
• I was cooking grilled cheese and it was the last two pieces of bread and I burnt it and then I was really sad and I couldn’t do anything.
• I kept sneezing and picking the wrong answers because of that and I got frustrated so I just stopped doing it.

Excuses, Accidents, and Bathroom Mishaps

Look, we’ve all had a “little accident” . Only the worst teacher in the world would deny a student the facts of life.

But personal issues that maybe should stay personal are a go-to for slackers. Some funny homework excuses concern the crapper, and now we’re going to laugh at them. Take that, slackers!

• I was dealing with the ghost in the bathroom.
• I was taking a phat shit and it took forever.
• I had Taco Bell so I was in the bathroom the whole night.
• I took a crap and it stunk so I had to take a shower but then I had to crap again and then I showered again.
• I was really constipated.
• My mom forgot to buy toilet paper so I had to use my homework.
• I was doing it in my jacuzzi and it fell in.
• I had too many Hot Cheetos and had to ravage my toilet all night.

Mysterious Illnesses and TMI Reasons for Not Doing Homework

Your student’s poop schedule is one bit of TMI you could probably do without. Look, the uncomfortable truth of the teaching profession is that there will be poops, pees, spews, and TOO much information. The funniest homework excuses usually overspecify…

It comes with the territory. So whenever one of these incredibly questionable yet incredibly funny excuses for not doing homework rolls your way, the best thing you can do is jot it down.

So that, one day, you can put it in a blog post on the internet. Guilty!

• I was eating Takis in the car on the way here and I rubbed my eyes and had to pull over.
• My part was really itchy and I needed a shower.
• I dropped it in the toilet after I had gone to the bathroom.
• I was in intensive care having fluid drained from my lungs because I had pneumonia that I got when I was hit by a car.
• I had heart surgery last night (1st grader).

Excuses About Family Issues, Problems, and EMerghencies

We, as teachers bound to our duty, MUST be sensitive to the family issues and home lives of our students…

Unless they’re just making up excuses to get out of doing their homework! A solid fib about family issues is a classic reason students use to skip homework.

Now, will parents ever take responsibility for their kids not doing their homework? No, of course not! Parents will blame teachers. It’s their go-to M.O.

So next time you hear one of these clankers, note it down and feed it back to the parents. That’ll throw a spanner in the wheels of the little turds!

• I had to take my Nana out for cigarettes.
• I had to help my mom put the cucumbers in the fridge.
• I was practicing playing guitar so I could play a song for my mom’s birthday.
• My mom needed help putting cucumbers in the fridge.
• My sister broke my Chromebook screen because I wouldn’t give her a hug.
• My parents had diarrhea.
• My mom didn’t have time to do it.
• My dad said he doesn’t believe in homework so I don’t have to do it.
• My stepmom died again last night (for the 10th time).
• My dad made me watch TV instead.
• My dad ran it over with his truck.
• My mom drank too much beer to help me with it.
• My mom has radiation poisoning from Chernobyl and it messed up my brain.
• My grandma got lost at the mall and it took us hours to find her.
• My stepdad had a hook in his arm.
• My grandmother wouldn’t give me back my textbook which she had taken in retaliation for the theft of her wooden leg.
• My grandma accidentally took it with her to Mexico.
• I did the homework the day you gave it to us, except then my dad sold all of our notebooks.
• My grandpa said the work is stupid and you’re a moron.

Making Excuses About Special Events

“Damn, Miss, I was in Europe over the weekend.”

“Oh, you went for a weekend trip abroad as a 14-year-old? My apologies, allow me to rescind your homework requirements then.”

I honestly don’t know what some students are thinking with these reasons. But the stupidest homework excuses are my favorite. You can just let the kid talk and dig their own hole!

Perhaps, eventually, one of these definitely totally believable excuses will be the final straw for your inevitable nervous breakdown. But until then, just keep quoting them verbatim as teacher comments on their report cards .

Maybe one day someone will actually bother to read those things.

• I was getting married in the Sims and completely lost track of time.
• It was my birthday and I just wanted to get my hair done and get a cake.
• I was planning a funeral for my frog.
• I had to take down Halloween decorations.
• I had to get my nails done for prom.
• It was my bird’s birthday.
• I had to travel to Europe to stop WW3.
• I was at the beach and they didn’t have good WiFi.
• I was packing for the vacation I’ll be on for the next three weeks. Can I have the work I’ll miss?
• I had to brush my hair.

Extremely Honest Reasons to Not Do Homework

Look, sometimes all you really need to do is be honest . Did you not do your homework because you smoked a bowl and got marooned on the sofa with cartoons?

Screw it! Just tell the teacher that. Maybe they’ll give you a pass for your winning smile alone!

Much like all the ridiculous reasons to visit the school nurse , sometimes, the best reasons for not doing your homework require honesty.

What could possi-blye go wrong!

• I have no time management skills. On the bright side, I watched all of season 1 of Stranger Things today!
• I was eating Toaster Strudels.
• My 24-hour ban from Call of Duty ended today and I need to get some rounds in.
• My favorite soccer team lost.
• I was smoking weed with my friends and the next thing I knew it was morning and I had to come to school again.
• It just didn’t fit into my schedule today.
• I’m just, like, really lazy.
• I had better things to do.
• We thought it was Saturday yesterday.
• I don’t need to do homework because NCAA scouts have been coming to see me play and I’m gonna get a scholarship.
• I had to go to church but I’m pretty sure God will understand.

Animal Problems – “My Dog Ate My Homework” and Other Variants

I’m not saying your students are animals (though they certainly behave like animals ).

I AM saying that students will make excuse after excuse for not doing their homework courtesy of their pets. They’re the perfect culprit! Who’s ever going to interrogate your furry friend for cross-examination?

Only the teachers who are crazy enough. ;)

• My dog peed on my laptop and it took a few days to dry.
• My cat ran over the keyboard and deleted the whole thing.
• My dog doesn’t like going to the bathroom alone so I had to watch him and he took forever.
• We had a cow in labor, and it was stuck in the hips of the cow, and I couldn’t get it out myself.
• I was with my new guinea pig and it was really distracting.
• The dog pooped and my baby brother fell in it.
• I accidentally locked my cat with my brother’s cat, and I don’t know if my cat got pregnant, but I think she is because she tried to go under my bed, and she never does that.
• There was a roach on the floor so I couldn’t get down off the bed the whole afternoon.
• My dog had puppies on top of my book bag and it was gross so my dad threw my book bag away.
• My cat threw up on it.
• My duck pooped on it.
• My dad accidentally threw my project away and a raccoon went into the trash can and destroyed it.
• My friend’s cat is having an abortion.
• A donkey ate it.
• The squirrels on the roof were distracting me.
• My dog died three years ago.
• I was doing a photo shoot with my bunny.
• My dog looked sad.
• I was doing my homework outside and a bird grabbed it and flew away.
• I got attacked by a raccoon on the way to school and he only went for the homework and ate it in front of me.
• My pet parrot flew into the fireplace and caught on fire. It then proceeded to fly around the room, and his dad tried to hit it with a frying pan because he was afraid the curtains would go up in flames if the parrot went close to them. With all the drama, I forgot to do my homework.
• My grandmother’s potbelly pig ate my homework.
• I got distracted shopping online for furniture for my turtle.

Funny Homework Excuses and Technical Difficulties

Oh, man – I saw some whoppers of excuses in the remote learning era of COVID-19!

Technical difficulties are the perfect excuse students make to skip out on their homework. They think they’re more tech-savvy than teachers…

Little did they know that a teacher’s BS-meter is far more finely calibrated than their excuses will ever be!

• Google erased my work.
• I don’t have internet access (sent in an email).
• I just kept hitting the submit button over and over and over and it didn’t make a click sound or anything.
• My mom threw my “lab top” out the window and when I went outside to get it, it was gone.
• I accidentally lit my Chromebook on fire
• My dog peed on my Chromebook

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The Final Excuse for Not Doing Your Homework…

Reason #100:

• “But, Miss! You said to do questions 1-10. You didn’t say bring them in!”

Check and mate.

Thus concludes our list of the 100 funniest excuses for not doing their homework, all thanks to the countless students who skipped out on their work.

Stay on guard though. With the rise of AI and homework excuse generators , the excuses only get more advanced!

So stay switched on out there! If it’s not funny excuses for not doing homework, it’s straight-up silly reasons for being absent and everything else under the sun.

Jot them down, collect them, and then (if you’re feeling spicy), post them in the comments down below. Why stop at 100? Gotta catch ’em all!

Stay miserable out there, teacherinos. The excuses and excuses never stop coming! So maybe come up with your own…

“Oh, no, sorry, Lucy. I CAN’T return your confiscated phone. My dog ate it.”

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From the book The Aliens Have Landed at Our School!

This morning I was walking past the local county jail when I was captured by a pirate just released on bail. He took me to his pirate ship and taught me how to sail, and made me wed his daughter who was covered by a veil. We sailed the seven stormy seas through hurricane and gale, but while we were marauding we were swallowed by a whale. We soon escaped by torturing the whale with a nail, and floating to the shoreline in an empty wooden pail. An Indian then guided us along a western trail, and led us to a stagecoach that was carrying the mail. We all delivered letters through the sleet and snow and hail, until we found a train and then we rode upon the rail. I barely made it back to school to tell you of my tale. I’m sorry that I missed the test; I hope I didn’t fail!

 — Kenn Nesbitt

Copyright © 2001. All Rights Reserved.

Reading Level: Grade 6 Topics: Pirate , School Poems , Tall Tale , Travel Poetic Techniques: Narrative Poems , Rhyme Schemes Word Count: 157

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