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Essays About Love and Relationships: Top 5 Examples

Love, romance, and relationships are just as complicated and messy as they are fascinating. Read our guide on essays about love and relationships.

We, as humans, are social beings. Humanity is inclined towards living with others of our kind and forming relationships with them. Love, whether in a romantic context or otherwise, is essential to a strong relationship with someone. It can be used to describe familial, friendly, or romantic relationships; however, it most commonly refers to romantic partners. 

Love and relationships are difficult to understand, but with effort, devotion, and good intentions, they can blossom into something beautiful that will stay with you for life. This is why it is important to be able to discern wisely when choosing a potential partner.

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5 Essay Examples

1. love and marriage by kannamma shanmugasundaram, 2. what my short-term relationships taught me about love and life by aaron zhu, 3. true love waits by christine barrett, 4. choosing the right relationship by robert solley, 5. masters of love by emily esfahani smith, 1. what is a healthy romantic relationship, 2. a favorite love story, 3. relationship experiences, 4. lessons relationships can teach you, 5. love and relationships in the 21st century, 6. is marriage necessary for true love.

“In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad.”

Shanmugasundaram’s essay looks at marriage in Eastern Cultures, such as her Indian traditions, in which women have less freedom and are often forced into arranged marriages. Shanmugasundaram discusses her differing views with her parents over marriage; they prefer to stick to tradition while she, influenced by Western values, wants to choose for herself. Ultimately, she has compromised with her parents: they will have a say in who she marries, but it will be up to her to make the final decision. She will only marry who she loves. 

“There is no forever, I’ve been promised forever by so many exes that it’s as meaningless to me as a homeless person promising me a pot of gold. From here on out, I’m no longer looking for promises of forever, what I want is the promise that you’ll try your best and you’ll be worth it. Don’t promise me forever, promise me that there will be no regrets.”

In Zhu’s essay, he reflects on his lessons regarding love and relationships. His experiences with past partners have taught him many things, including self-worth and the inability to change others. Most interestingly, however, he believes that “forever” does not exist and that going into a relationship, they should commit to as long as possible, not “forever.” Furthermore, they should commit to making the relationship worthwhile without regret. 

“For life is a constant change, love is the greatest surprise, friendship is your best defense, maturity comes with responsibility and death is just around the corner, so, expect little, assume nothing, learn from your mistakes, never fail to have faith that true love waits, take care of your friends, treasure your family, moderate your pride and throw up all hatred for God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds, reminding us not to force our way but to wait for true love to happen perfectly in His time.”

Barrett writes about how teenagers often feel the need to be in a relationship or feel “love” as soon as possible. But unfortunately, our brains are not fully matured in our teenage years, so we are more likely to make mistakes. Barrett discourages teenagers from dating so early; she believes that they should let life take its course and enjoy life at the moment. Her message is that they shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up, for true love will come to those who are patient. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment and essays about girlfriends .

“A paucity of common interests gets blamed when relationships go south, but they are rarely the central problem. Nonetheless, it is good to have some — mostly in terms of having enough in common that there are things that you enjoy spending time doing together. The more important domains to consider are personality and values, and when it comes to personality, the key question is how does your potential partner handle stress.”

Solley, from a more psychological perspective, gives tips on how one can choose the ideal person to be in a relationship with. Love is a lifetime commitment, so much thought should be put into it. One should look at culture, values regarding spending money, and common interests. Solley believes that you should not always look for someone with the same interests, for what makes a relationship interesting is the partners’ differences and how they look past them. 

“There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: Either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.”

Smith discusses research conducted over many years that explains the different aspects of a relationship, including intimacy, emotional strength, and kindness. She discusses kindness in-depth, saying that a relationship can test your kindness, but you must be willing to work to be kind if you love your partner. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

6 Writing Prompts On Essays About Love and Relationships

Essays About Love and Relationships: What is a healthy romantic relationship?

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. For example, some prioritize assertiveness in their partner, while others prefer a calmer demeanor. You can write about different qualities and habits that a healthy, respectful relationship needs, such as quality time and patience. If you have personal experience, reflect on this as well; however, if you don’t, write about what you would hope from your future partner. 

Love and relationships have been an essential element in almost every literary work, movie, and television show; an example of each would be Romeo and Juliet , The Fault in Our Stars , and Grey’s Anatomy . Even seemingly unrelated movies, such as the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, have a romantic component. Describe a love story of your choice; explain its plot, characters, and, most importantly, how the theme of love and relationships is present. 

If you have been in a romantic relationship before, or if you are in one currently, reflect on your experience. Why did you pursue this relationship? Explore your relationship’s positive and negative sides and, if applicable, how it ended. If not, write about how you will try and prevent the relationship from ending.

All our experiences in life form us, relationships included. In your essay, reflect on ways romantic relationships can teach you new things and make you better; consider values such as self-worth, patience, and positivity. Then, as with the other prompts, use your personal experiences for a more interesting essay. Hou might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

How love, romance, and relationships are perceived has changed dramatically in recent years; from the nuclear family, we have seen greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, blended families, and relationships with more than two partners—research on how the notion of romantic relationships has changed and discuss this in your essay. 

Essays About Love and Relationships: Is marriage necessary for true love?

More and more people in relationships are deciding not to get married. For a strong argumentative essay, discuss whether you agree with the idea that true love does not require marriage, so it is fine not to get married in the first place. Research the arguments of both sides, then make your claim. 

Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

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127 Relationship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

Inside This Article

Relationships are an essential part of human life, shaping our experiences, emotions, and overall well-being. Whether it's with a romantic partner, family member, friend, or colleague, relationships play a crucial role in our daily interactions and personal development. With such a diverse range of relationships in our lives, there are countless topics to explore and discuss when it comes to relationships. In this article, we will provide 127 relationship essay topic ideas and examples to inspire your next writing project.

Romantic Relationships:

  • The impact of social media on modern relationships
  • The importance of communication in a healthy relationship
  • How to maintain a long-distance relationship
  • The role of trust in a romantic relationship
  • The effects of jealousy in a relationship
  • How to navigate conflicts in a relationship
  • The benefits of couples therapy
  • The impact of love languages on relationship dynamics
  • How to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship
  • The role of gender roles in romantic relationships

Family Relationships: 11. The dynamics of sibling relationships 12. The effects of parental divorce on children's relationships 13. The importance of family rituals in strengthening relationships 14. How to improve communication within a family 15. The impact of cultural differences on family relationships 16. The role of family history in shaping relationships 17. How to navigate conflicts with family members 18. The benefits of family therapy 19. The impact of technology on family relationships 20. The challenges of caring for aging parents

Friendships: 21. The qualities of a true friend 22. The benefits of having a diverse group of friends 23. The impact of social media on friendships 24. How to maintain friendships as an adult 25. The role of empathy in friendships 26. The effects of jealousy in friendships 27. The benefits of having a close-knit friend group 28. The impact of moving on friendships 29. How to navigate conflicts with friends 30. The importance of setting boundaries in friendships

Workplace Relationships: 31. The benefits of having strong relationships with colleagues 32. The impact of office politics on workplace relationships 33. The role of communication in workplace relationships 34. How to build trust with coworkers 35. The effects of competition on workplace relationships 36. The benefits of mentorship in the workplace 37. The challenges of managing relationships with superiors 38. The impact of remote work on workplace relationships 39. How to navigate conflicts with coworkers 40. The importance of work-life balance in maintaining healthy relationships

Relationships and Mental Health: 41. The link between healthy relationships and mental well-being 42. The impact of toxic relationships on mental health 43. The benefits of therapy for relationship issues 44. How to set boundaries in relationships for better mental health 45. The effects of loneliness on mental health 46. The role of self-care in maintaining healthy relationships 47. The benefits of support groups for relationship struggles 48. The impact of trauma on interpersonal relationships 49. How to heal from past relationship wounds 50. The importance of self-reflection in improving relationships

Parent-Child Relationships: 51. The effects of different parenting styles on parent-child relationships 52. The benefits of quality time in parent-child relationships 53. The impact of technology on parent-child relationships 54. How to build trust with your child 55. The role of discipline in parent-child relationships 56. The challenges of balancing work and parenting 57. The benefits of family traditions in strengthening parent-child relationships 58. The impact of divorce on parent-child relationships 59. How to navigate conflicts with your child 60. The importance of open communication in parent-child relationships

Interracial Relationships: 61. The challenges of navigating cultural differences in interracial relationships 62. The benefits of interracial relationships 63. The impact of societal perceptions on interracial relationships 64. How to address racism within an interracial relationship 65. The role of family acceptance in interracial relationships 66. The effects of stereotypes on interracial relationships 67. The benefits of diversity in relationships 68. The challenges of raising biracial children 69. How to support your partner in an interracial relationship 70. The importance of celebrating cultural differences in interracial relationships

LGBTQ+ Relationships: 71. The challenges of coming out in a relationship 72. The benefits of LGBTQ+ representation in media on relationships 73. The impact of discrimination on LGBTQ+ relationships 74. How to navigate societal stigma in LGBTQ+ relationships 75. The role of chosen family in LGBTQ+ relationships 76. The effects of internalized homophobia on LGBTQ+ relationships 77. The benefits of LGBTQ+ support groups 78. The challenges of legal recognition for LGBTQ+ relationships 79. How to build a strong support system in an LGBTQ+ relationship 80. The importance of self-acceptance in LGBTQ+ relationships

Relationships and Technology: 81. The impact of dating apps on modern relationships 82. The benefits of virtual relationships 83. The effects of social media on relationship satisfaction 84. How to set boundaries around technology use in relationships 85. The role of video calls in long-distance relationships 86. The challenges of maintaining intimacy in a digital world 87. The benefits of online support groups for relationship issues 88. The impact of sexting on relationships 89. How to navigate conflicts over technology use in relationships 90. The importance of unplugging for better relationship health

Relationships and Self-Discovery: 91. The role of relationships in personal growth 92. The benefits of self-reflection in improving relationships 93. The impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships 94. How to heal from past relationship trauma 95. The challenges of breaking toxic relationship patterns 96. The benefits of therapy for relationship issues 97. The role of mindfulness in improving relationships 98. The effects of self-awareness on relationship dynamics 99. How to cultivate self-love for healthier relationships 100. The importance of setting boundaries for self-preservation

Miscellaneous Relationship Topics: 101. The impact of the pandemic on relationships 102. The benefits of pet relationships on mental health 103. The effects of age gap relationships 104. How to navigate relationships as a single parent 105. The role of forgiveness in repairing broken relationships 106. The benefits of volunteer relationships 107. The impact of codependency on relationships 108. How to build trust after a betrayal 109. The challenges of ending a toxic relationship 110. The benefits of relationship role-playing for communication skills 111. The impact of generational differences on relationships 112. The benefits of mentor-mentee relationships 113. The role of humor in strengthening relationships 114. How to maintain relationships as an introvert 115. The effects of attachment styles on relationship dynamics 116. The benefits of group therapy for relationship issues 117. The impact of substance abuse on relationships 118. How to support a partner with mental health challenges 119. The challenges of blended family relationships 120. The benefits of volunteering together in a relationship 121. The impact of financial stress on relationships 122. How to navigate relationships with different love languages 123. The role of forgiveness in repairing broken relationships 124. The benefits of mutual hobbies in relationships 125. The impact of trauma on relationships 126. How to rebuild trust after infidelity 127. The importance of gratitude in maintaining healthy relationships

In conclusion, relationships are a complex and multifaceted aspect of human life, with endless possibilities for exploration and discussion. Whether you're interested in romantic relationships, family dynamics, friendships, work relationships, or any other type of relationship, there is a wealth of topics to explore and write about. We hope that these 127 relationship essay topic ideas and examples have inspired you to delve deeper into the world of relationships and uncover new insights and perspectives. Happy writing!

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Feb 20, 2023

250-500 Word Example Essays About Love and Romance

Got an Essay assignment about Love and Romance? Let us help you out with these inspiring Examples!

Love, an emotion that has captivated the hearts and minds of poets, authors, and artists throughout history, remains a profound and multi-faceted subject. While the depth and complexity of this emotion can make it a daunting topic to explore in an essay, the right resources can turn this challenge into a rewarding endeavor. For those looking to capture the essence of love and romance in their writing, our essay writer can be a beacon of inspiration and assistance. This tool, powered by Jenni.ai, offers a seamless journey through the essay-writing process, from brainstorming ideas to refining the final draft. 

Whether you're delving into argumentative, persuasive , or reflective essays about love, Jenni.ai ensures clarity, coherence, and a touch of elegance in your prose. It's a trusted companion for students, educators, and seasoned writers alike, simplifying the writing journey every step of the way.

1. The Evolution of Love: A Study of the Changing Nature of Romance throughout History

Introduction.

Love is one of humanity's most complicated and mysterious emotions. People have strived to comprehend and define Love throughout history, resulting in many works of literature, art, and music dedicated to the subject. Despite its universal appeal, the nature of Love has evolved significantly throughout time, reflecting evolving cultural, social, and economic situations. In this essay, we will look at the evolution of Love, from ancient times to the present.

Ancient Love

A. Greek and Roman Love

Love was viewed as a complex and varied feeling in ancient Greece and Rome, comprising characteristics of desire, friendship, and awe. Love was frequently represented as a tremendous force in ancient civilizations, capable of both propelling individuals to high heights of success and bringing them down into the depths of sorrow. This was especially true of romantic Love, which was glorified in epic poems like the Iliad and Odyssey , as well as works of art and literature depicting the hardships and sufferings of star-crossed lovers.

B. Medieval Love

A chivalric code known as courtly Love emerged in medieval Europe. Its core tenants were the importance of Love, honour, and devotion. During this time, romantic Love was typically portrayed as an unrequited emotion, with the lover pining for the affections of a faraway and unreachable beloved. Medieval poets and troubadours mirrored this romanticised picture of Love in their works by singing and writing about the highs and lows of passionate Love.

Modern Love

A. The Renaissance

The idealized picture of Love that had ruled for centuries was called into question by artists and intellectuals during the Renaissance, marking a turning point in the development of romantic relationships. During this time, romantic Love was portrayed as more tactile and visceral. Shakespeare, for instance, reflected the shifting beliefs of his day by exploring the nuanced and often tragic nature of Love in his works.

B. The Enlightenment

The concepts of reason and individuality began to gain root during the Enlightenment, and with that came a shift in how people saw Love. Political marriages and alliances were often formed based on Love, which was now considered a more sensible and practical feeling. Thinkers from the Enlightenment period, including Voltaire and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, shared this perspective on Love as a tool for bettering society and the individual.

C. The Modern Era

Today, the word "love" is most often used to describe a feeling one has when they are in a committed relationship or when one has achieved their own goals. Love has become a consumable good thanks to the spread of consumerism and the worship of the individual. The media and arts reflect this conception of Love by depicting it as a means to one's fulfillment and contentment.

The changing cultural, social, and economic conditions of each historical epoch are reflected in the history of Love. The essence of Love has changed dramatically throughout the years, from its idealised image in ancient Greece and Rome to its depiction as a spiritual tie in mediaeval Europe to its current identification with romantic relationships and personal fulfilment. Despite these changes, Love remains a strong and enduring force in human existence, inspiring numerous works of art, literature, and music and affecting how we live and interact with one another.

2. The Power of Love: Examining the Impact of Love on Our Lives and Relationships

Love is a strong feeling that may dramatically alter our life and the bonds we form with others. love, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, can unite us and improve our lives in countless ways., the benefits of love.

A. Improved Physical Health

Love has been demonstrated to improve physical health by decreasing stress, lowering blood pressure, and increasing immunity. The hormone oxytocin, which is released in response to social bonding and has been demonstrated to reduce physiological responses to stress, is thought to be at play here.

B. Enhanced Mental Health

In addition to its physical benefits, Love has been shown to have a beneficial effect on our mental health, lowering stress and anxiety levels and boosting our general sense of happiness. The protective powers of Love against the negative consequences of stress and other difficulties in life are well accepted.

C. Strengthened Relationships

A stronger tie may be formed between two people via the power of Love. Relationships of all kinds, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, may benefit from the strengthening effects of Love by increasing their levels of closeness, trust, and mutual understanding.

The Challenges of Love

A. Love can be painful

Sometimes Love hurts, as when a relationship ends or when we can't find the one we're looking for. One of life's most trying events is losing someone we care about, which may leave us feeling isolated, discouraged, and empty.

The Power of Love to Overcome Challenges

Despite these difficulties, Love may help us overcome them and grow closer to one another. The strength of Love is that it may help us learn and grow, both as people and as a community, via its many forms, such as forgiveness, compromise, and the willingness to persevere through adversity.

Finally, Love is a strong and transformational force that may profoundly influence our lives and relationships. Love may provide us joy, comfort, and a feeling of purpose, whether between friends, family, or romantic partners. Despite its numerous advantages, Love may also bring with it difficulties such as heartbreak and strife. Nonetheless, never underestimate the power of Love. 

It has the potential to draw people together and form deep, long-lasting bonds. Love has the power to make the world a better place, whether through acts of kindness, selflessness, or simply being there for one another. So, let us embrace Love in all of its manifestations and harness its potential to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.

3. The Science of Love: Understanding the Biology and Psychology Behind Love and Attraction

For millennia, people have been drawn and intrigued by the intricate and intriguing feeling of Love. Despite its enormous global significance, the science of Love is now being thoroughly investigated. This paper will investigate the biology and psychology of Love and attraction, delving into the different elements that impact these powerful emotions and how they form our relationships.

The Biology of Love

A. Hormone Function

Love is a biological process controlled by chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These hormones influence our sensations of attraction, enthusiasm, and enjoyment and boost sentiments of trust and closeness.

B. The Influence of Genetics

Genetics also has an impact on Love and attraction, with some personality qualities and physical characteristics that are considered to be appealing to potential spouses being handed down from generation to generation. This suggests that particular preferences for specific sorts of people are hardwired into our genetics, influencing our romantic and sexual attraction patterns.

The Psychology of Love

A. The Role of Attachment Styles

Our attachment types, which we acquire from our early connections with our caretakers, also affect our Love. These attachment types can significantly influence our later relationships, influencing how we build and keep deep attachments with others.

B. The Impact of Social Norms and Values

Cultural Values

Social conventions and cultural ideas also impact Love and attraction, with societal expectations and values impacting our romantic and sexual impulses. These social conventions and cultural ideas influence everything from who we are attracted to and how we approach and pursue relationships.

The Meeting of Biology and

Love Psychology

The biology and psychology of Love are inextricably linked and interdependent, with one having a complicated and subtle impact on the other. This suggests that, while biology influences our sentiments of attraction and Love, our psychological experiences and beliefs may equally shape these emotions.

To summarise, love science is a complicated and intriguing discipline that encompasses the biology and psychology of this strong and transformational emotion. By investigating the elements that impact Love and attraction, we may gain a deeper understanding of the systems that underpin these feelings and how they shape our lives and relationships. The study of Love is a vital and beneficial effort, whether we seek Love, attempt to preserve Love, or wonder about the science underlying this feeling.

4. The Fine Line Between Love and Obsession: Exploring the Dark Side of Love

Love is a powerful and transformative emotion that can bring immense joy and fulfilment to our lives. But Love can also turn dark and dangerous when it crosses the line into obsession. This essay will examine the fine line between Love and obsession, exploring how Love can become unhealthy and dangerous.

The Characteristics of Obsessive Love

A. Unhealthy Attachment

Obsessive Love is characterized by an unhealthy attachment to another person, with the obsessed person becoming overly dependent on their partner for emotional fulfilment. This can lead to feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, as well as a need for constant attention and validation.

B. Control and Manipulation

Obsessive Love can also involve control and manipulation, with the obsessed person trying to control every aspect of their partner's life and behaviour. This can range from minor acts of manipulation, such as trying to dictate what their partner wears or who they spend time with, to more serious forms of control, such as physical abuse or stalking.

The Dark Side of Love

A. Stalking and Harassment

The dark side of Love can take many forms, with stalking and harassment being among the most extreme and dangerous forms of obsessive behaviour. Stalking and harassment can have serious and long-lasting consequences for the victim, causing fear, stress, and trauma that can impact their mental and physical well-being.

B. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is another form of the dark side of Love, with physical, sexual, and psychological abuse being used as a means of control and domination. Domestic violence can have devastating consequences for the victim, often leading to serious injury or even death.

The Roots of Obsessive Love

A. Psychological Issues

Obsessive Love can have its roots in psychological issues, including depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. These conditions can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships.

B. Cultural and Social Factors

Cultural and social factors can also play a role in the development of obsessive Love, with certain societal beliefs and norms promoting possessiveness and control in relationships. This can include gender roles, expectations, and cultural beliefs about Love and relationships.

In conclusion, the fine line between Love and obsession is delicate and dangerous, with Love crossing over into unhealthy and dangerous territory when it becomes obsessive. By understanding the characteristics of obsessive Love and how it can take dark and dangerous forms, we can better protect ourselves and our loved ones from the negative consequences of this powerful emotion.

5. The Concept of Unconditional Love: An Analysis of the Ideal of Selfless Love

All kinds of different things count as Love since it's such a complicated and diverse feeling. Unconditional Love is frequently depicted as altruistic, all-encompassing, and unshakable, making it one of the most romanticized types. In this essay, I'd discuss the idea of unconditional Love, defining it and contrasting it with other types of affection.

An Explanation of Selfless Love

A. Selfless Love

The term "unconditional love" is commonly used to describe a type of Love that puts the other person's needs before its own. In this kind of Love, one person cares for another without any thought of return or compensation.

B. Love that encompasses everything

Many people use the term "all-encompassing" to express how unconditional Love embraces a person regardless of who they are or what they've done in their lives. A love like this doesn't depend on the other person changing or improving in any way; rather, it's an unconditional embrace of the person as they are.

The Ideal of Unconditional Love

A. Love Without Conditions

Unconditional Love is a romantic ideal in which the lover places no restrictions on the object of his affection. Since it involves so much giving of oneself, this kind of Love is typically held up as the pinnacle of romantic relationships.

B. Putting the Feeling into Action

However, since we are all flawed human beings, practising unconditional Love can be challenging in daily life. Although this may be the case, the ideal of unconditional Love is still significant since it motivates us to improve our Love and compassion towards others.

The Advantages of Unconditional Love

A. Stronger Connections

Unconditional Love has the potential to improve our connections with others, leading to deeper and more meaningful bonds. This kind of Love creates a non-judgmental and welcoming attitude towards people, which can assist to lessen conflict and improve understanding.

B. More Joy and Satisfaction

As a result of the more profound relationships it fosters, unconditional Love may also increase a person's sense of well-being and contentment. Finding Love like this may give our life new meaning and make us feel whole.

In conclusion, many of us hold unconditional Love as a relationship goal. Even if it's not always possible, the ideal of unconditional Love is worthwhile since it motivates us to increase our Love and compassion. The concept of unconditional Love may lead us to a more meaningful and happy lifestyle, whether our goal is to better our relationships or to find more pleasure and contentment in general.

6. The Importance of Communication in Love Relationships: A Study of the Role of Communication in Maintaining Love

Love relationships, like all others, benefit greatly from open lines of communication between partners. Connecting with one another on a regular basis, whether it's to chat about the day, express emotions, or problem-solve, is crucial to keeping the Love alive between you. This essay will discuss the significance of communication in romantic relationships, specifically how it helps couples stay together and grow closer over time.

Advantages of good communication

Increased Compatibility and Mutual Understanding

Love partnerships benefit significantly from open lines of communication that facilitate mutual understanding and closeness. Sharing our innermost ideas, emotions, and experiences with our partners via direct and honest communication strengthens our bonds with them.

Reduced Conflict

As we can better address difficulties and find positive solutions to differences when communicating effectively, we experience less conflict in our relationships. Relationships may be stronger and more loving by talking through differences and finding common ground.

The Difficulties in Expressing Your Feelings in a Romantic Relationship

A. Confusing Messages and Confused Intents

Good communication can sometimes be difficult, especially in romantic partnerships, despite its many advantages. Conflict, anger and a lack of trust may all result from poor communication and misunderstandings in relationships.

B. Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

Likewise, it takes courage and trust to open up and talk about your feelings with the person you love. It may be nerve-wracking to communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings with a partner because of the risk of being judged harshly or rejected.

The Importance of Active Listening

What is Active Listening?

Maintaining positive connections with others requires not just good talkers but also good listeners. Paying close attention to the other person as they speak and making an effort to get their viewpoint and requirements is an essential component of active listening.

The Benefits of Active Listening

The ability to listen attentively and process information can have a significant influence on interpersonal bonds. You may show your spouse how much you value their opinion and the commitment you have to the relationship by listening attentively to what they have to say.

Finally, it's important to note that communication is a cornerstone of successful, loving partnerships. Communication is crucial for developing and maintaining healthy relationships , whether it is via problem-solving, venting, or just listening. Your relationship may grow stronger and become more rewarding and loving if you put an emphasis on communicating well with one another.

Final Words

Love is a complicated and varied theme that has inspired numerous works of art, literature, and music. Whether it is the science of Love, the power of Love, or the development of Love, there is a great deal to learn and comprehend about this universal feeling. 

Students now have access to a potent tool that may assist them in writing essays about Love with ease and assurance thanks to Jenni.ai. From giving ideas and recommendations to leading you through the writing process, Jenni.ai is the ideal option for anyone who wants to write about Love and relationships. Why then wait? Sign up for a free trial of Jenni.ai today and explore its numerous writing perks!

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Romantic Relationship - Free Essay Examples And Topic Ideas

In a romantic relationship, two people are romantically involved with each other. Romantic relationships can be between friends, colleagues, or family members. They can also be between strangers or casual acquaintances.

Romantic relationships typically involve some combination of emotional intimacy and physical attraction. People in romantic relationships are often attracted to each other because they share common interests and life goals, but they may also be attracted to each other because they have similar personalities or beliefs.

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6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life

Relationships come in many forms—and not all of them are healthy

Verywell / Laura Porter

What Is a Relationship?

Basic types of relationships, defining types of relationships in your life.

  • Keeping Your Relationships Healthy

You'll have many different types of relationships throughout your life. Most tend to be categorized as acquaintances, friends, family, romantic partners, sexual partners, work colleagues, or situational relationships. Each type comes with different expectations, benefits, and challenges.

Interpersonal relationships are a vital part of life. They can range from close and intimate to distant and challenging. No matter the nature of the relationship, different types of relationships help form the social support network that is pivotal for physical and mental well-being.

At a Glance

We make all kinds of connections with other people over the course of our lives. Some of these are positive relationships that help us feel a sense of belonging. Others can be less helpful, or may even have negative effects on our mental health and well-being. To better understand and discuss these relationships accurately, it can be helpful to learn more about the different types of relationships a person can have. 

A relationship is any connection between two people, which can be either positive or negative.

You can have a relationship with a wide range of people, including family and friends. The phrase "being in a relationship," while often linked with romantic relationships, can refer to various associations one person has with another.

To "be in a relationship" doesn't always mean there is physical intimacy, emotional attachment, and/or commitment involved. People engage in many different types of relationships that have unique characteristics.

Relationships typically fall into one of several different categories (although these can sometimes overlap):

  • Family relationships
  • Friendships
  • Acquaintances
  • Romantic relationships
  • Sexual relationships
  • Work relationships
  • Situational relationships (sometimes called " situationships ")

These different forms of relationships can vary greatly in terms of closeness, and there are also different subtypes of relationships within each of these basic types. Some of the different kinds of relationships that you might experience at some point in your life include the following.

While there are many different types of relationships, the four main types are typically identified as family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships.

Platonic Relationships

A platonic relationship is a type of friendship that involves a close, intimate bond without sex or romance. These relationships tend to be characterized by:

  • Understanding

Platonic relationships can occur in a wide range of settings and can involve same-sex or opposite-sex friendships. You might form a platonic relationship with a classmate or co-worker, or you might make a connection with a person in another setting such as a club, athletic activity, or volunteer organization you are involved in.

This type of relationship can play an essential role in providing social support, which is essential for your health and well-being. Research suggests that platonic friendships can help reduce your risk for disease, lower your risk for depression or anxiety, and boost your immunity.

Platonic relationships involve closeness and friendship without sex. Sometimes, platonic relationships can change over time and shift into romantic or sexual relationships. Examples might include a friends-with-benefits or a friends-to-lovers situation.

Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are those characterized by feelings of love and attraction for another person. While romantic love can vary, it often involves feelings of infatuation, intimacy, and commitment. 

Experts have come up with a variety of different ways to describe how people experience and express love. For example, psychologist Robert Sternberg suggests three main components of love: passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment. Romantic love, he explains, is a combination of passion and intimacy.

Romantic relationships tend to change over time. At the start of a relationship when people are first falling in love , people typically experience stronger feelings of passion. During this initial infatuation period, the brain releases specific neurotransmitters ( dopamine , oxytocin , and serotonin ) that cause people to feel euphoric and "in love." 

Over time, these feelings start to lessen in their intensity. People develop deeper levels of emotional intimacy and understanding as the relationship matures.  

Romantic relationships often burn hot at the beginning. That's why we often feel like we can't stop thinking about the object of our affection and want to be near them all the time. While the initial feelings of passion usually lessen in strength over time, feelings of trust, emotional intimacy, and commitment grow stronger.

Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship is an imbalanced, dysfunctional type of relationship in which a partner has an emotional, physical, or mental reliance on the other person.

It is also common for both partners to be mutually co-dependent on each other. Both may take turns enacting the caretaker role, alternating between the caretaker and the receiver of care.

Characteristics of a codependent relationship include:

  • Acting as a giver while the other person acts as a taker
  • Going to great lengths to avoid conflict with the other person
  • Feeling like you have to ask permission to do things
  • Having to save or rescue the other person from their own actions
  • Doing things to make someone happy, even if they make you uncomfortable
  • Feeling like you don't know who you are in the relationship
  • Elevating the other person even if they've done nothing to earn your goodwill and admiration

Not all codependent relationships are the same, however. They can vary in terms of severity. Codependency can impact all different types of relationships including relationships between romantic partners, parents and children, friendship, other family members, and even coworkers.

Codependent relationships are co-constructed. While one partner might seem more "needy," the other partner might feel more comfortable being needed.

Someone who feels more comfortable being needed, for instance, may avoid focusing on their own needs by choosing a partner who constantly needs them.

Casual Relationships

Casual relationships often involve dating relationships that may include sex without expectations of monogamy or commitment. However, experts suggest that the term is vague and can mean different things to different people. 

According to the authors of one study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality , casual relationships can encompass situations such as:

  • One-night stands
  • Booty calls
  • "Sex" buddies
  • Friends with benefits 

Such relationships often exist on a continuum that varies in the levels of frequency of contact, type of contact, amount of personal disclosure, discussion of the relationship, and degree of friendship. The study found that people with more sexual experience were better able to identify the definitions of these labels compared to people with less sexual experience.

Casual relationships are often common among young adults. As long as casual relationships are marked by communication and consent, they can have several sex-positive benefits. They can satisfy the need for sex, intimacy, connection, and companionship without the emotional demands and energy commitment of a more serious relationship.

Casual relationships tend to be more common among younger adults, but people of any age can engage in this type of relationship. Consent and communication are key.

Open Relationships

An open relationship is a type of consensually non-monogamous relationship in which one or more partners have sex or relationships with other people. Both people agree to have sex with other people in an open relationship but may have certain conditions or limitations.

Open relationships can take place in any type of romantic relationship, whether casual, dating, or married. 

There tends to be a stigma surrounding non-monogamous relationships. Still, research suggests that around 21% to 22% of adults will be involved in some type of open relationship at some point in their life.

The likelihood of engaging in an open relationship also depends on gender and sexual orientation. Men reported having higher numbers of open relationships compared to women; people who identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual were more likely to report previous engagement in open relationships compared to those who identify as heterosexual.

Such relationships can have benefits, including increased sexual freedom, and pitfalls, such as jealousy and emotional pain. Open relationships are more successful when couples establish personal, emotional, and sexual boundaries and clearly communicate their feelings and needs.

Open relationships are a form of consensual non-monogamy. While there is a primary emotional and often physical connection between the two people in the relationship, they mutually agree to intimacy with other people outside of the relationship.

Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is any type of interpersonal relationship where your emotional, physical, or psychological well-being is undermined or threatened in some way. Such relationships often leave you feeling ashamed, humiliated, misunderstood, or unsupported.

Any type of relationship can be toxic, including friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, or workplace relationships.

Signs of Toxic Types of Relationships

Toxic relationships are characterized by:

  • A lack of support
  • Competitiveness
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Gaslighting
  • Passive-aggressive behaviors
  • Poor communication

Sometimes all people in a relationship play a role in creating this toxicity. For example, you may be contributing to toxicity if you are all consistently unkind, critical, insecure, and negative.

In other cases, one person in a relationship may behave in ways that create toxic feelings. This may be intentional, but in other cases, people may not fully understand how they are affecting other people. Because of their past experiences with relationships, often in their home growing up, they may not know any other way of acting and communicating.

This doesn't just create discontentment—toxic relationships can take a serious toll on your health.

For example, according to one study, stress caused by negative relationships has a direct impact on cardiovascular health. Feeling isolated and misunderstood in a relationship can also lead to loneliness , which has been shown to have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health.

Toxic relationships can be stressful, harmful, and even abusive. If you are in a toxic relationship with someone in your life, work on creating strong boundaries to protect yourself. Talk to a mental health professional or consider terminating the relationship if it is causing you harm.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database .

How you define your relationship depends on various factors, including what matters to you and how the other person feels. To define your relationship, it can be helpful to ask a few questions:

  • Do you have romantic feelings for one another?
  • What does each person hope to get out of the relationship?
  • How much time do you want to spend together?
  • Where do you see the relationship going?
  • Are you currently involved with or want to be involved with other people?

Figuring out what matters to you and your partner is an important step in defining the type of relationships you are interested in having. You might find that you are both on the same page or discover that you want different things out of your relationship. 

Defining your relationship doesn't have to mean committing for the long term. Instead, it can be a way to help you both better understand the boundaries and expectations of your relationship.

How to Keep Different Types of Relationships Healthy

Regardless of how you define your relationship, there are important steps you can take to ensure that your connection is healthy. Strategies that can help include:

  • Showing appreciation and gratitude
  • Communicating openly and honestly
  • Being affectionate and showing that you care 
  • Mutual respect 
  • Actively listening
  • Showing interest in each other
  • Being supportive and encouraging
  • Feeling empathy for each other
  • Spending time together
  • Having healthy boundaries
  • Being trustworthy

Communication is often the single most important thing in a relationship. Good relationships are also marked by honesty, trust , and reciprocity . This doesn't mean that the relationship is purely transactional ; it indicates that you naturally engage in a give-and-take that provides mutually beneficial support.

No matter what type of relationship you have with another person(s), it is important for it to be a healthy one. Healthy relationships are characterized by trust, mutual respect, openness, honesty, and affection. Good communication is also a key factor.

You can take steps to improve your relationships with other people. Two helpful strategies are to let others know you care and show your appreciation. 

But if a relationship is causing stress or shows signs of being toxic, look for ways to establish clear boundaries, talk to a therapist, or even consider ending the relationship if it is taking too much of a toll on your well-being.

Social relationships are important, and they come in all different types. Having a variety of relationships with different people can ensure that you have the support and connections you need, minimize your risk of loneliness and social isolation , and improve your emotional health and well-being. 

American Psychological Association. Friends wanted .

Gawda B. The structure of the concepts related to love spectrum: emotional verbal fluency technique application, initial psychometrics, and its validation . J Psycholinguist Res . 2019;48(6):1339-1361. doi:10.1007/s10936-019-09661-y

Wentland JJ, Reissing ED. Casual sexual relationships: Identifying definitions for one night stands, booty calls, f--- buddies, and friends with benefits . Can J Hum Sex. 2014;23(3):167-177. doi:10.3138/cjhs.2744

Rodrigue C, Fernet M. A metasynthesis of qualitative studies on casual sexual relationships and experiences . Can J Hum Sex . 2016;25(3):225-242. doi:10.3138/cjhs.253-a6

Haupert ML, Gesselman AN, Moors AC, Fisher HE, Garcia JR. Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships: Findings from two national samples of single Americans . J Sex Marital Ther . 2017;43(5):424-440. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675

Birditt KS, Newton NJ, Cranford JA, Ryan LH. Stress and negative relationship quality among older couples: Implications for blood pressure . J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci . 2016;71(5):775-85. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbv023

Lavner JA, Bradbury TN.  Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce? .  J Fam Psychol . 2012;26(1):1-10. doi:10.1037/a00259

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Essay on Relationship | Relationship Essay for Students and Children in English

February 7, 2024 by Prasanna

Essay on Relationship: Human is a social animal. To survive and stay happy, he needs to get connected with the people around him. To love and to be loved is the best feeling in the world. The feeling of this love and the connection between two people is what we call a relationship. Right from the family relationship, friendship, acquaintances, and romantic relationship, all are important at one or the other point of life. Having a relationship is thus one of the most important things in life.

You can read more  Essay Writing  about articles, events, people, sports, technology many more.

Long and Short Essays on Relationship for Students and Kids in English

In this article, we have provided a long essay and a short essay, along with ten lines on the topic, to help students write this essay in examinations. Given below is a long essay composed of about 500 words and a short composition comprising 100-150 words on the relationship in English.

Long Essay on Relationship 500 words in English

Relationship essay is usually given to classes 7, 8, 9, and 10.

Having a relationship is very important in everyone’s life. To stay happy, share your feelings, feel loved, have a connection, and know yourself in a better manner you need to have a relationship. As you grow old, the relationship transforms. Thus, we can define relationships as a bond between two people based on mutual likes, understanding, need, or love. Since birth, humans enter into a relationship. Broadly, there are four types of relationships:

Family Relationship: This is the most basic kind of relationship. It comes into existence based on the blood, kinship, marriage, or even adoption. It usually includes family members and relatives like parents, grandparents, children, siblings, cousins, uncle, aunts, and other such family members.

Friendship: As a child grows, he starts meeting people and attending school. It is the time when friendship comes to existence. Based on mutual likes and dislikes, the child befriends. This relationship occurs at every stage. As we grow old, we do make new friends. But friendship is a reciprocal relationship based on trust, care, and faith from both ends.  Friendship is that special God-given gift to humans with whom one can share multiple resonating feelings.

Romantic Relationship: Human has been always hungry for love. It is usually a relationship based on a strong feeling of connectivity based on personality or some physical attributes as well. This relationship usually is seen between husband-wife. It is one of the closest and strongest forms of relationship.

Acquaintances: As we move across daily, we encounter a lot of people that pass by. They are neither friends nor relatives. They can be neighbors, a travel companion, someone you meet at the park, or any other such person. But if such a relationship is treated with respect and care, it can grow to friendship in the future.

Love and trust are such emotions that are most profound in humans. People interact daily which acts as the base for the formation of relationships. For having a good and healthy relationship, the person needs to focus on the basic four attributes. They are communication, trust, respect, and love. For any relationship to flourish and sustain, one needs to have the four pillars incorporated in the deep roots of the relationship.

Every relationship starts when two people communicate. Having a healthy communication is important to share problems and find a solution for them. In the absence of communication, the relationship fails due to mistrust and doubts. Secondly, trust is the foundation of any relationship. Every relationship starting right from family or friends, if the trust is void, then the relationship is bound to end or fall.

Mutual trust and loyalty can be gained when you share your true feelings. The third pillar is respect. In personal as well as professional world respect is very important. If a person respects others, then he gains respect from others. Treating others will respect and care not only gains respect for themselves but also creates a base for a long-term relationship. The last is love. If there is love, there is care. Every person searches for love in their life. Having a relationship full of love makes a person happy and relationship strengthens.

Relationships are not built in a day. They need constant focus and attention. When people have successful and healthy relationships, they bound to stay happy and satisfied. Apart, the quality of life also enhances. Relationships may take time but investing in them can lead you to ‘Happily Ever After’.

Short Essay on Relationship 150 words in English

Relationship essay is usually provided to classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

A relationship is when two people bond or connects based on the feeling of mutual trust, likes, dislikes, or love. It can be a relationship between family, friends, neighbors, passerby, or any other acquaintances. Having a good relationship is very important to sustain happily. Relationships give a person a chance to get connected with the people around and understand the true self.

Broadly, the relationships are of four types. The family relationship is the relationship based on blood or kinship. The friendship is based on mutual like and dislike. The romantic relationship is based on love and attraction. Lastly, there is an acquaintance which is a relationship with people you encounter but they are neither your friends nor family.

The healthy and successful relationship is based on four pillars. They are communication, trust, respect, and love. These are important to sustain and flourish in all kinds of relationships. These pillars help you share your thoughts and feelings. By doing so, you are in a position to strengthen your relationship. Relationships take time to create and when they grow strong they are forever and you can claim you are in a position of’ happily ever after’.

10 Lines on Relationship Essay in English

  • A relationship is when two or more people bond together based on mutual trust, love, care, and connection.
  • It is of four types, namely, family relationship, friendship, romantic relationship, and acquaintances.
  • Family relationship is based on blood or kinship. Friendship is based on mutual likes and dislikes. A romantic relationship is based on strong attraction and love. Acquaintances are ones you know or meet daily but are neither your friends nor family.
  • The pillars of any successful relationship are communication, trust, respect, and love.
  • To sustain any relationship, the four pillars need to be focused on.
  • Communication in a relationship is important to share your feelings and build trust as well.
  • Respect in any kind of relationship is a must. As said, if you give respect you get respect.
  • Relationships need focus and attention to survive and grow strong.
  • Good and healthy relationships take time to form. But once formed, they are to stay forever.
  • To have a happy, healthy, and long lives, people need to have happy and healthy relationships.

FAQ’s on Relationship Essay

Question 1. What is the relationship?

Answer: The feeling of connection and love based on mutual trust and care between two or more people is defined as a relationship.

Question 2. Briefly explain types of relationships.

Answer: There are four types of relationships, namely, family relationship, friendship, romantic relationships, and acquaintances. Family relationship is based on blood or kinship. Friendship is based on mutual likes and dislikes. A romantic relationship is based on strong attraction and love. Acquaintances are ones you know or meet daily but are neither your friends nor family

Question 3. What are the pillars of a healthy relationship?

Answer: There are four pillars of a healthy and successful relationship. They are communication, trust, respect, and love.

Question 4. Why people need healthy relationships?

Answer: Human is a part of society. To have a happy, healthy, and long lives, people need to have happy and healthy relationships.

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Partnering up can help you grow as an individual – here’s the psychology of a romantic relationship that expands the self

essay romantic relationship

Professor of Psychology, Monmouth University

Disclosure statement

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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It’s common to want to become a better version of yourself . Much like the desires to eat, drink and avoid harm, human beings also experience a fundamental need to learn, grow and improve – what psychologists call self-expansion .

Consider your favorite activities. Things like reading a book, spending time in nature, volunteering with a new organization, taking a class, traveling, trying a new restaurant, exercising or watching a documentary all broaden the self. Those experiences add new knowledge, skills, perspectives and identities. When who you are as a person expands, you enhance your competence and capabilities and increase your ability to meet new challenges and accomplish new goals.

Of course, you can achieve self-expansion on your own by trying new and interesting activities (like playing Wordle), learning new things (like advancing through a language app) or working on a skill (like practicing meditation). Research confirms that these kinds of activities help individuals expand themselves , which encourages them to put forth more effort on subsequent challenging tasks.

Interestingly, romantic relationships can also be a key source of growth for people. As a relationship scientist for over 20 years, I’ve studied the effects all kinds of romantic relationships can have on the self. Today’s modern couples hold high expectations for a partner’s role in one’s own self-development .

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Growing in your relationship

Falling in love feels good, and spending time with a romantic partner is enjoyable, but love’s benefits run even deeper. People tend to value partners who help them become a better version of themselves.

One way to optimize self-growth in your relationship is by sharing in your partner’s unique interests and skills. When “me” becomes “we,” partners blend their self-concepts and include the other in the self . That merging encourages partners to take on each other’s characteristics, quirks, interests and abilities to some extent. Romantic partners inevitably have different life experiences, knowledge bases, perspectives and skills. Each area is an opportunity for growth.

For example, if your partner has a better sense of humor than you do, over time, yours will likely improve. If they have an eye for interior design, your ability to put together a room will evolve. A partner’s differing views on climate change, politics or religion will grant you new perspectives and a deeper understanding of those topics. Your relationship helps you become a better person .

This isn’t to say that individuals should try to completely merge, running the risk of losing themselves. Rather, each person can maintain their own identity while augmenting it with desirable elements from their partner.

Relationship consequences of more or less

The science makes it abundantly clear that couples with more self-expansion are better relationships . Specifically, people who report more self-expansion in their relationship also report more passionate love, relationship satisfaction and commitment. It’s also associated with more physical affection, greater sexual desire, less conflict and couples being happier with their sex life .

Because self-expansion is so critical, when expanding relationships end, participants describe feeling like they have lost a part of themselves . Importantly, when less-expanding relationships break up, individuals experience positive emotions and growth .

When a relationship provides insufficient expansion, it can feel like it’s stuck in a rut. That stagnant malaise has consequences. Research finds that married couples who at one point indicated more boredom in their current relationship also reported less marital satisfaction nine years later . Insufficient relationship self-expansion also encourages people to have more of a wandering eye and pay more attention to alternative partners , increases susceptibility to cheating on one’s partner , lowers sexual desire and comes with a greater likelihood of breakup .

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How does your relationship measure up?

Maybe you’re now wondering how your own relationship is doing on this front. To provide some insight, I created the Sustainable Marriage Quiz . On a scale from 1 to 7, with 1 being “very little” and 7 being “very much,” answer these questions:

  • How much does being with your partner result in you having new experiences?
  • When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of them?
  • How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
  • How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
  • How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
  • How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
  • How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?
  • How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
  • How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
  • How much does your partner increase your knowledge?

Before adding up your score, know that these categories are generalizations. They suggest where your relationship may need attention, but also where it’s already strong. Relationships are complicated, so you should see your score for what it is: one small piece of the puzzle about what makes your relationship work.

  • 60 and above – Highly Expansive. Your relationship provides lots of new experiences and helps you reach new goals. As a result, you likely have a more fulfilling and sustainable relationship.
  • 45 to 60 – Moderately Expanding. Your relationship has produced some new experiences and additions to your self-concept, but you have some room for improvement.
  • Below 45 — Low Expansion. Currently your relationship isn’t creating many opportunities to increase your knowledge or enhance you. Consequently you likely aren’t improving yourself as much as you could. Consider making an effort to seek out more new and interesting experiences with your partner. You may even rethink if this is the right partner for you.

What makes a relationship great? While there are many factors to consider, one area deserves more attention: how much it helps you grow. A relationship that fosters self-expansion will make you want to be a better person, help you increase your knowledge, build your skills, enhance your capabilities and broaden your perspectives.

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  • Relationships

Emotional Intimacy: The Key to a Resilient and Fulfilling Relationship

Enhancing communication helps couples build lasting, satisfying connections..

Posted August 13, 2024 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

  • Why Relationships Matter
  • Take our Relationship Satisfaction Test
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  • Emotional intimacy is essential for a deep connection and relationship satisfaction.
  • Enhance intimacy with open communication, quality time, and affection.
  • Overcome barriers like trauma and poor communication for lasting intimacy.

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a deep, fulfilling connection between partners. This essential component of a strong relationship not only enhances the bonds between couples but also significantly contributes to their overall well-being. Strengthening emotional closeness can lead to increased happiness , trust, and resilience within the relationship, making it a crucial aspect of long-term relational satisfaction.

What Is Emotional Intimacy?

Emotional intimacy is the bond that forms through deep feelings of connection, understanding, and vulnerability between partners. It involves the ability to open up, give and receive affection, and share a mutual understanding of each other's needs, desires, and emotions.

Recent research underscores the importance of emotional intimacy in relationships, revealing that couples with high levels of emotional closeness experience greater partner satisfaction, improved communication, and reduced conflict (Laurenceau et al., 2005). Conversely, relationships lacking in emotional intimacy are more likely to face issues such as increased partner conflict, diminished sexual desire, and feelings of loneliness or disconnection (Sandberg et al., 2013).

Ways to Improve Emotional Intimacy

Building emotional intimacy requires time, effort, and intentional practice. However, the benefits of fostering this connection are well worth the investment, often leading to stronger, healthier relationships. Here are some strategies to enhance emotional intimacy:

  • Open Communication of Feelings: Sharing feelings can be challenging, especially for those who are not accustomed to emotional vulnerability. However, openly expressing emotions reduces misunderstandings and builds a sense of trust with your partner. Research has shown that couples who regularly engage in open and honest communication are more likely to experience higher relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy (Gottman & Silver, 2015).
  • Be “In the Moment” During Quality Time Together: Engaging in activities together without distractions, such as putting away phones during conversations, can foster emotional closeness. Active listening, where you fully engage with your partner's thoughts and feelings, is a key aspect of emotional intimacy. Studies indicate that partners who are more mindful and present during interactions report higher levels of emotional connection and satisfaction (Karremans et al., 2017).
  • Show Affection Physically and Verbally: Physical touch, including hugs, kisses, and cuddling, along with verbal affirmations , play a significant role in strengthening emotional bonds. The release of oxytocin , often referred to as the “love hormone ,” during these interactions enhances both physical and emotional closeness. Research has found that couples who engage in regular affectionate behavior report stronger emotional bonds and greater relationship satisfaction (Floyd et al., 2009).
  • Prioritize Time Together: Balancing the demands of work, children, and other responsibilities can make it difficult to find time for your partner. However, prioritizing quality time together, such as planning regular date nights or engaging in shared hobbies, can rekindle emotional intimacy. Novel experiences together can also introduce excitement and help couples reconnect (Aron et al., 2000).
  • End the Day with Gratitude : Concluding the day by sharing your highs and lows and expressing appreciation fosters feelings of safety, gratitude, and emotional closeness. Couples who practice gratitude regularly experience increased levels of relationship satisfaction and emotional intimacy (Algoe et al., 2010).
  • Seek Professional Help if Needed: In some cases, professional intervention may be necessary to overcome obstacles to emotional intimacy. Couples therapy can provide tools and strategies to address underlying issues and strengthen the connection between partners. Recent studies suggest that therapy can significantly improve emotional intimacy, especially for couples facing long-standing communication issues or emotional barriers (Johnson, 2013).

Overcoming Barriers to Emotional Intimacy

Certain factors can impede the development of emotional intimacy. Recognizing these barriers is the first step toward overcoming them:

  • Past Trauma: Experiences of neglect, abuse, or past relationship trauma can make it difficult for individuals to be emotionally vulnerable in their current relationships. Understanding and addressing these traumas , often with the help of a therapist, can pave the way for building emotional intimacy (Freyd, 2008).
  • Attachment Style: Individuals who experienced a lack of nurturing or affection during childhood may struggle with expressing emotions or being affectionate with their partner. Awareness and intentional work on attachment styles can help overcome these challenges (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
  • Lack of Communication: Poor communication habits, such as assuming your partner knows how you feel or avoiding difficult discussions, can prevent the establishment of a deeper emotional connection. Developing effective communication skills is crucial for fostering emotional intimacy (Cordova et al., 2005).

Long-Term Benefits of Emotional Intimacy

The benefits of emotional intimacy extend far beyond the immediate improvements in communication and relationship satisfaction. Long-term, emotionally intimate relationships are associated with better mental and physical health, greater life satisfaction, and increased resilience during challenging times.

Research shows that emotional intimacy is linked to longer, healthier lives. Emotionally intimate partners are more likely to feel "in sync" with each other, align their goals , and work together toward a shared future. This sense of partnership not only enhances the relationship but also contributes to individual well-being (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

Emotional intimacy is the cornerstone of a strong, lasting relationship. It fosters a deep connection that transcends physical attraction , allowing couples to navigate challenges together with empathy, trust, and mutual respect. By prioritizing emotional closeness through open communication, shared experiences, and affection, couples can build a resilient bond that not only enhances their relationship but also contributes to their overall well-being. Investing in emotional intimacy is not just about maintaining a relationship; it’s about enriching it, ensuring that both partners feel valued, understood, and loved in every aspect of their lives.

Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L., & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It's the Little Things: Everyday Gratitude as a Booster Shot for Romantic Relationships. Emotion, 10(3), 391-397.

Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples' Shared Participation in Novel and Arousing Activities and Experienced Relationship Quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273-284.

Cordova, J. V., Gee, C. B., & Warren, L. Z. (2005). Emotional Skillfulness in Marriage: Intimacy as a Mediator of the Relationship between Emotional Skillfulness and Marital Satisfaction. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24(2), 218-235.

Floyd, K., Boren, J. P., Hannawa, A. F., Hesse, C., McEwan, B., & Veksler, A. E. (2009). Affectionate Communication. In Handbook of Communication and Emotion (pp. 325-341). Academic Press.

Freyd, J. J. (2008). Betrayal Trauma. In Encyclopedia of Trauma (pp. 50-54). SAGE Publications.

Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. Harmony Books.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLOS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.

Johnson, S. M. (2013). Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships. Little, Brown Spark.

Karremans, J. C., Schellekens, M. P., & Kappen, G. (2017). Bridging the Science-Practice Gap in Mindfulness Research: A Focus on Cultivation of Attention, Perspective Taking, and Empathy. Mindfulness, 8, 1480-1491.

Laurenceau, J. P., Barrett, L. F., & Pietromonaco, P. R. (2005). Intimacy as an Interpersonal Process: The Importance of Self-disclosure, Partner Disclosure, and Perceived Partner Responsiveness in Interpersonal Exchanges. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1238-1251.

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. Guilford Press.

Sandberg, J. G., Busby, D. M., Johnson, S. M., & Yoshida, K. (2013). The Brief Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement (BARE) Scale: A Tool for Measuring Attachment Behavior in Couple Relationships. Family Process, 52(4), 748-762.

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Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationships It is said that love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. Every day people fall in love, commit into relationships and fall out of them. Romantic relationships are one of the most unique types of interpersonal relationships, they’re different from any other. Love can be the most amazing feeling, but it can also being the most heart break. Learning how to manage a romantic relationship is key if you plan to maintain a healthy one. Interpersonal communication on this level differs from communication with a friend or acquaintance.

It takes more time and patience. However, if you put the work in, you can reap the most rewarding benefits. Like anything, there are stages to developing a relationship. The first stage is the initiating stage. This is where two people first meet and exchange first impressions. This is an important stage because this is where the two decide if they wish to further their communication. This is generally where the most shallow interaction occurs. They say not to judge a book by it’s cover, but let’s be honest, physical attractiveness when first meeting someone is key.

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The next stage is called the experimenting stage. In this stage partners look for similarities. They seek common ground on which to build a relationship. Partners can reveal parts of their personalities in this stage which is important. The communication in this stage is generally relaxed, uncritical and noncommittal. The next stage is called the intensifying stage. This is where partners make initial move to greater their involvement. The use of nicknames or endearing gestures become apparent. Pronouns like we or us begin to be used. Self-disclosure also increases.

The next stage is called the integrating stage. In this stage, the individuals become a couple publicly. The couples social circles merge and attitudes and interests are shared. The integrating stage allows couples to become fully indulged in one another, they almost become a part of the other person. There are various obstacles the couple endures to test each others commitment. The final stage to building a relationship is the bonding stage. This is the stage where a public ritual will legitimize the relationship. This mean some sort of commitment ceremony like marriage would occur.

In every relationship, relational maintenance is key. Maintenance involves certain strategies that keep two individuals relationship at a desired level. There are several different types of strategies and what might work for one couple may not necessarily work for another. The five most identified include positivity, openness, assurance, networks, and task sharing. Using positivity includes being patient and optimistic with each other. It also is important to refrain from criticizing one another and build up each others self esteems. Openness involves opening up to one another.

This means having good communication and discussing feelings and what each person needs. Assurance is all about indicating each others commitment to one another and demonstrating their faithfulness. The couple must talk in ways that show they believe the relationship has a future. Networks is referring to spending time with each other’s families and mutual friends. Finally, task sharing refers to taking a joint partnership. This means both individuals taking responsibility for the relationship and helping equally with tasks that need to be done. There are essentially 5 elements to a healthy relationship.

These elements include good communication, respect, reciprocity, realistic expectations, and intimacy. Good communication is all about being able to discuss everything openly in the relationship. Each individual should feel comfortable to discuss any kind of feelings or issues. Each person should take the time to listen and not react rashly to their partners thoughts. Respect refers to the way the couple speaks to each other and how they speak about each other to outsiders. It is key to speak to your partner in a respectful manner and never bad mouth them behind their back.

Reciprocity is about the give and take of a relationship. Individuals must learn to compromise and sometimes back down to keep the relationship healthy. Realistic expectations is very important in maintaining a healthy relationship. Each individual must come to terms with the fact that no person is perfect. People make mistakes and couples need to be able to forgive one another. Also discussing each others expectations at the start is important so your partner isn’t blindsided if a fight occurs when not meeting your expectations. The final element, intimacy, is not just about sex.

Intimacy is about feeling comfortable and safe with your partner. In any relationship, conflict is bound to occur. Conflict is practically unavoidable, because at some point a couple will run into some kind of incompatible goal. However, there are ways to handle conflict and each persons attitude will dictate how the conflict is handled. Some people choose to withdraw. As soon as conflict arises, one person decides to just walk away from it or change the subject. In some cases, withdrawing may be appropriate. However, many times this just postpones the issue and make it worse. Some chose to use a strategy called forcing.

This is when one person only has their own interests in mind. They set aside their partners feeling and do what they feel will benefit themselves the most. This is never good in a romantic relationship because too much domination will destroy the equality of the relationship. Another strategy is accommodating. This is when one partner gives in immediately to fight. If the conflict is unimportant then there is no problem with accommodating. However of the conflict is bigger, constant accommodation can lead to unstated resentment. Compromising seems like a great way to solve conflict, however, that’s not always the case.

When compromising, each person gives up part of what he or she wants. This can lead to a lack of satisfaction. Problem solving is the best way to solve conflict. This strategy involves brainstorming and coming up with a new creative solution for equal satisfaction. The drawback of this tactic is that it takes time and skill. Many times people would rather chose an easy way out. Just like there are stages to build a relationship, there are also stages to terminating a relationship. The first stage is called the differentiating stage. In this stage, the couple begins to look at previously overlooked discrepancies.

Couples begin using terms like “you” and “me” rather than “us” or “we. ” The next stage is called the circumscribing stage. In this stage couples begin to restrict communication. The begin putting certain topics off limits because they seem painful to discuss. Expressions of commitment are also decreased. The next stage is called the stagnating stage. This stage is where silence and inactivity occurs. Communication is scarce and the communication that does occur is awkward and rigid. The next stage is called the avoiding stage. This is where partners separate physically or emotionally. They avoid each other at all costs.

If physical separation is impossible, a couple will separate psychologically. They will pretend as though the other doesn’t exist. The last and final stage is the terminating stage. This is where both parties come to term with the ending of their relationship. If the relationship had been failing, this may come as a relief. Other times it isn’t so easy, and can be heart wrenching. The outcome of the break up comes from the type of relationship a couple had. Levels of attachment can have serious effects on whether it is a clean or messy break up. It also can determine whether the couple will try again.

When two people come together in this kind of commitment, it can be the most beautiful bond. Love is a powerful thing. When treated well, a romantic relationship can be the most exhilarating experience. Your relationship is only as good as you treat it. It requires care and patience, and beyond that, good communication. However, once you master these skills, you can expect a happy, strong and successful relationship. Citations Trenholm, Sarah. (2008) Interpersonal Communication. Thinking Through Communication: An Introduction to the Study of Human Communication. Edition 6 pp. 132-163 Madey, Scott F. ; Jilek, Lori. 2012) Attachment Style and Dissolution of Romantic Relationships: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, Or Is It? Individual Differences Research, Vol. 10 No. 4 pp. 202-210 “5 Elements Of A Healthy Romantic Relationship. ” Mademan RSS. N. p. , n. d. Web. 16 Apr. 2013. . Vangelisti, L. Anita. (2012) Interpersonal Processes in Romantic Relationships The SAGE handbook of interpersonal communication chapter 18 Butzer, Bethany; Kupier, Nicholas A. (2008). Humor Use in Romantic Relationships: The Effects of Relationship Satisfaction and Pleasant Versus Conflict Situations. The Journal of Psychology, 142(3), 245–260.

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Asking Eric: How to balance work, grad school, and building romantic relationships

  • Updated: Aug. 17, 2024, 7:31 a.m.
  • | Published: Aug. 17, 2024, 7:30 a.m.

Asking Eric: How to balance work, grad school, and building romantic relationships

Asking Eric: How to balance work, grad school, and building romantic relationships Getty Images/PhotoAlto

  • R. Eric Thomas

Dear Eric: Like many of my friends in their late 20s, my life is still in draft form. There are so many moving pieces, but by now I have a rough blueprint of where I want to go. I work full time and I am also a full-time graduate student.

While my career goals are feeling closer than ever, other aspects of my life, such as romantic relationships feel more out of reach than ever. I have tried online dating and have matches, but I never make the effort to meet for a date.

I know once I get started, a relationship will add value and fun to my life, but how do I get started when I know it will make the rest of my busy life busier and more challenging? My friends and I talk often about trying to figure out balancing work life, friendships, relationships, and our mental and physical health in our 20s. How does one decide what to prioritize?

– Work Life Love Balance

Dear Balance: I’m not sure that anyone, at any point, fully achieves balance. And maybe that’s not the goal. I think of life in one’s 20s as like DJing, but not like DJing with your phone at a house party where you just hit play on Spotify and hope for the best.

Professional DJs mix live, moving the bass up, the treble down; sampling, starting another track that only they can hear, while the current track finishes up. It’s a lot of moving around. Every track is different. And there’s always going to be somebody out in the crowd screaming “You’re doing it wrong. Play ‘Wonderwall’!”

There’s no way to do it wrong. But you should strive to do it authentically. Prioritize your health. If your physical and mental health isn’t good, everything is going to suffer. So, if grad school and work have you at capacity, don’t worry about anyone else’s time clock for love or anything else.

If you have time to pick up a book, try memoirs others have written about this complicated time in their lives. I particularly enjoy those written by Samantha Irby, Scaachi Koul and David Rakoff. They might offer some perspective and humor.

You have more time than you think you do. When things are in alignment, you can add things into the mix – romance, other job responsibilities, and a larger social circle. It will not all go according to plan. It may happen out of sequence or all cattywampus. But if you’re staying true to yourself and making sure to take care of yourself, you’ll learn the steps of the dance.

Anyway, here’s “Wonderwall”…

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com .

R. Eric Thomas

Stories by R. Eric Thomas

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  • Asking Eric: Deciding whether to go to an event with an ex in the mix
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  • Asking Eric: How to scale back monthly lunches without hurting feelings

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  • DOI: 10.1007/s10902-024-00784-1
  • Corpus ID: 271838043

Enhancing Relationship Quality through Behavioral-Based Appreciation of Romantic Partner’s Character Strengths

  • Hadassah Littman-Ovadia , Ma’ayan Klein
  • Published in Journal of Happiness Studies 1 August 2024

29 References

Editorial: introduction to the special issue “well-being in romantic relationships”, the impact of recognizing a romantic partner’s character strengths on relationship satisfaction, expressing appreciation is linked to interpersonal closeness and inter-brain coherence, both in person and over zoom., the impact of attachment styles on attitudes toward marriage: the mediating role of emotional intimacy, profile similarities among romantic partners’ character strengths and their associations with relationship- and life satisfaction, is it me or you an actor-partner examination of the relationship between partners’ character strengths and marital quality, the marital version of three good things: a mixed-method study, personality strengths in romantic relationships: measuring perceptions of benefits and costs and their impact on personal and relational well-being, lmertest package: tests in linear mixed effects models, marital stability, satisfaction and well-being in old age: variability and continuity in long-term continuously married older persons, related papers.

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Polyamorous relationships are on the rise in Canada. The law is still catching up

Family law is broadening, but legal challenges remain, notes vanier institute report.

essay romantic relationship

Social Sharing

You can have more than one friend at a time. You can love multiple family members equally.

So what's the difference if you're in a meaningful, consensual romantic relationship with more than one person at once? That's the general philosophy behind polyamorous relationships, and a new report says they're on the rise.

Steph Davidson, 41, a publicist in Toronto, said not only is she seeing more polyamorous people in her circles and on dating apps, but there's a wider social acceptance and understanding.

"My friends, when I first started dating someone who was non-monogamous, their immediate instinct was 'you deserve all of someone,'" Davidson told CBC News. "And now they're, like, 'I'm really happy for you, and this really seems to be a great fit for who you are and the way that you live.'"

Polyamory is a deliberate relationship structure where everyone can have as many romantic partners as they want, according to Egale Canada, a 2SLGBTQ+ advocacy organization. There is knowledge and consent with everyone involved, and people may live with one partner, multiple partners or no partners, explains the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association .

It's a form of consensual non-monogamy and one of the growing types of diverse families in Canada, notes a report from the Vanier Institute of the Family  released last week .

essay romantic relationship

What is polyamory? A primer on the non-conventional relationship style

The national independent think-tank, which is dedicated to understanding families and family life in Canada, cites  a 2019 study from the Journal of Sex Research  that says about one in five people in this country have practised consensual non-monogamy.

The Vanier Institute also notes that people who identify as 2SLGBTQ+ are more likely to have practised consensual non-monogamy than people who identify as heterosexual. That's echoed by Egale Canada, which explains that people in polyamorous relationships "are free to express their sexuality regardless of gender."

Davidson, who is polyamorous, has had an anchor partner for just under two years. (She prefers the term anchor to primary, which implies a hierarchy). They don't live together. In addition, she has several other relationships of various styles and depths.

A smiling person in a  pink shirt holding a cup  of coffee

Davidson identifies as queer, and while her anchor relationship is with a man, some of her other partners are women or non-binary. She said she currently has four partners, which includes her anchor, who also has multiple partners.

"There are different styles of polyamory. My partner and I tend to get to know each other's partners, we establish relationships with the other folks in their lives and spend time together, but that's not mandatory," she said.

"It's just what works for everybody involved and what's comfortable for everybody."

The 'data gap'

Despite the growing popularity, there's a "data gap" on polyamorous relationships since they're not included in the census, the Vanier Institute notes, and research is sparse. It says further research is needed for "strengthening understanding of polyamorous families and ensuring they are included in laws and policies."

While polyamory differs from open marriage — another type of consensual non-monogamy that generally involves one couple primarily committed to each other, with sex allowed outside that relationship — open marriage research gives insight into attitudes about relationships outside of a traditional partnership.

  • Canada's divorce rate is the lowest in 50 years, but fewer people are getting married at all
  • NOW OR NEVER How this polyamorous couple makes their marriage work

In 2023, the Pew Research Center in the United States found that 33 per cent of the adults surveyed said open marriages were "acceptable." That proportion skyrocketed to 75 per cent among the 2SLGBTQ+ respondents (versus 29 per cent among those who identified as straight).

The findings are based on a sample of 5,073 U.S. respondents, with a margin of error of plus or minus 1.7 percentage points

The Vanier Institute explains that polyamorous relationships are diverse, with some centred around "long-term, committed relationships with two or more people, while others may have a mix of short-term and long-term relationships with varying degrees of intimacy and commitment."

It's an honest and open relationship style, and communication is key, Davidson said.

"No one is trying to pull one over on their partners. True polyamory is not about hiding things and not about cheating."

Polyamory is also different from polygamy, where someone is married to multiple people, which is  illegal in Canada and sometimes associated with religion . 

Law assumes 2 people in a relationship

But while polyamory may be on the rise, Canadian law doesn't recognize intimate relationships between more than two people, the Vanier Institute explains, and this leaves people to "navigate and interact with systems and institutions that were not designed to support them."

The laws are responsive to social trends and changes, such as adapting to the rise of common-law marriages, but there's still a significant lag, said John-Paul Boyd, a Calgary-based family lawyer and the former executive director of the Canadian Research Institute for Law and the Family, which published its own research on polyamory  in 2017.

"If there's anything in society that reflects the presumption of the dyadic relationship, it is the law," he said. "There is this sort of built-in, explicit and implicit assumption that relationships come in only pairs."

  • B.C. judge orders second mother declared a third parent to child of polyamorous trio
  • 3 adults in polyamorous relationship declared legal parents by N. L. court

That's true for every aspect of the law, whether you're looking at the Canada Pension Plan, how employment insurance benefits are calculated or who you can name as your beneficiary for health and dental benefits, Boyd said.

And only people who meet the legal definition of spouse or common-law partner are entitled to property rights or to ask for spousal support, he said. (Some provinces, like British Columbia , have amended their laws to give common-law partners the same property rights as married couples.)

Then there's the issue of how many guardians a child of people in a polyamorous relationship can have, which also varies by province, Boyd said. But a few recent cases have helped broaden the law.

essay romantic relationship

In 2018, three unmarried adults in Newfoundland and Labrador  were declared the legal parents of a child born within their polyamorous family — a legal first in Canada, CBC News reported. Then in 2021,  a B.C. Supreme Court judge ordered that all three members of a polyamorous triad should be registered as parents of the boy they were raising together as a family.

"Put bluntly, the legislature did not contemplate polyamorous families," Justice Sandra Wilkinson said in the decision .

Three men in bright golf shirts smile and hold hands

There have also been a few recent legal gains in Latin America, where polyamory has  been reported to be on the rise . In 2017, three men in Medellín, Colombia, became the country's first legally recognized polyamorous family . In 2022, a judge in Buenos Aires, Argentina , issued a ruling legally allowing a child born in a polyamorous relationship to have two dads and one mom.

That same year, a judge in Mexico said he could "find no constitutional reason why marriage should only be between two partners," according to a report in  Mexico News Daily .

Planning and consent

Boyd said he's also seeing an increase in polyamorous relationships, and the fact that there are sometimes legal complications for those involved is important but usually not enough to prevent a relationship from moving forward.

That's because most people involved in long-term polyamorous relationships have already talked about how their relationship will work, he said, including the expectations, arrangements and legal outcomes.

Honesty and informed consent are critical to these relationships, where there aren't the same kinds of social assumptions found with a traditional couple, Boyd said.

  • Audio Sex, throuples and emotional connection: In conversation with a registered sex therapist in Thunder Bay, Ont.

"I would frankly wish that more people entering into dyadic relationships would have that similar kind of discussion," he said.

Steph Davidson said open communication is central to making her relationships work.

"We're all just trying to create a relationship style that works for us and not harm other people."

Three people walking in a park hold hands

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

essay romantic relationship

Senior Writer & Editor

Natalie Stechyson has been a writer and editor at CBC News since 2021. She covers stories on social trends, families, gender, human interest, as well as general news. She's worked as a journalist since 2009, with stints at the Globe and Mail and Postmedia News, among others. Before joining CBC News, she was the parents editor at HuffPost Canada, where she won a silver Canadian Online Publishing Award for her work on pregnancy loss. You can reach her at [email protected].

Related Stories

When AI Automates Relationships

A s we assess the risks of AI, we are overlooking a crucial threat. Critics commonly highlight three primary hazards—job disruption, bias, and surveillance/privacy. We hear that AI will cause many people to lose their jobs, from dermatologists to truck drivers to marketers . We hear how AI turns historical correlations into predictions that enforce inequality, so that sentencing algorithms predict more recidivism for Black men than white ones . We hear that apps help authorities watch people, such as Amazon tracking which drivers look away from the road.

What we are not talking about, however, is just as vital: What happens to human relationship when one side is mechanized? 

The conventional story of AI’s dangers is blinding us to its role in a cresting “depersonalization crisis.” If we are concerned about increasing loneliness and social fragmentation, then we should pay closer attention to the kind of human connections that we enable or impede. And those connections are being transformed by an influx of technology.

As a researcher of the impact of technology on relationships, I spent five years observing and talking to more than 100 people employed in humane interpersonal work like counseling or teaching, as well as the engineers automating and administrators overseeing it. I found that the injection of technology into relationships renders that work invisible, makes workers have to prove they are not robots, and encourages firms to overload them, compressing their labor into ever smaller increments of time and space. Most importantly, no matter how good the AI, there is no human relationship when one half of the encounter is a machine.

At the heart of this work is bearing witness. “I think each kid needs to be seen, like really seen,” Bert, a teacher and private school principal, told me. (All names in this article have been changed to protect privacy.) “I don’t think a kid really gets it on a deep level. I don’t think they are really bitten by the information or the content until they feel seen by the person they’re learning from.”

Many people depend on seeing the other clearly to make their contribution: clients healing, students learning, employees staying motivated and engaged, customers being satisfied. I came to call this witnessing work “connective labor,” and it both creates value and, for many, is profoundly meaningful. Pamela, an African-American teacher in the Bay Area, recalled how her own middle school teacher took the time to find out that her selective mutism was a response to her family moving incessantly. “I thought, ‘I want to be that teacher for my kids in this city. I want to be the teacher that I wanted, and that I needed, and that I finally got.’”

Yet this labor is nonetheless threatened by automation and AI. Even therapy, one of the professions most dependent on emotional connection between people, has seen inroads from automated bots, from Woebot to MARCo. As Michael Barbaro noted on The Daily when ChatGPT3 responded to his query about being too critical: “Ooh, I’m feeling seen—really seen!”

Read More: Do AI Systems Deserve Rights?

Technologists argue that socioemotional AI addresses problems of human performance, access and availability, which is a bit like the old joke about the guests at a Catskills resort complaining about the food being terrible—and such small portions!  It is certainly true that human connective labor is fraught, full of the risk of judgment and misrecognition—as Pamela repeatedly faced until she met the middle school teacher who finally listened to her. Yet the working conditions of connective labor shape people’s capacity to see the other.

“I don’t invite people to open up because I don’t have time,” said Jenna, a pediatrician. “And that is such a disservice to the patients. My hand is on the doorknob, I’m typing, I’m like, ‘Let’s get you the meds and get you out the door because I have a ton of other patients to see this morning.’”

Veronica demonstrates for us some of the costs of socioemotional AI. A young white woman in San Francisco, she was hired as an “online coach” for a therapy app startup, to help people interact with the app. She was prohibited from giving advice, but the clients seemed happy to think of the coaches as private counselors. “I loved feeling like I had an impact,” she said.

Yet, despite both the personal significance and emotional wallop of the work, Veronica’s own language joined in minimizing her effect. She “loved feeling like I had an impact,” but quickly followed that with “Even though I wasn’t really doing anything. I was just cheering them on and helping them work through some hard things sometimes.” Just as AI obscures the invisible armies of humans that label data or transcribe audio, it erases the connective labor of the human workers it relies upon to automate.

Veronica also found herself facing a new existential task: proving that she was human.  “A lot of people were like, ‘Are you a robot?’” she told me. I asked her how she countered that impression. “I basically just tried to small talk with them, ask another question, maybe share a little bit about myself if it was appropriate.”  In essence, Veronica’s connective labor—normally the quintessential human activity—was not enough to convey her humanness, which she had to verify for a clientele accustomed to machines.

Finally, Veronica may have found the work moving, humbling, and powerful, but she left because the firm increased the client roster to untenable levels. “Toward the end they were trying to model everything using algorithms, and it’s just like, you can’t account for the actual emotional burden of the job in those moments.” Already convinced the coaches were nothing but handmaidens to the app, the firm piled on new clients heedlessly. 

In the midst of a depersonalization crisis, “being seen” is already in too short supply. The sense of being invisible is widespread, animating working-class rage in the U.S. and abroad, and rife within the social crises of the “deaths of despair,” suicide and overdose deaths that have radically lowered life expectancy.

While many remain close to family and friends, there is one kind of relationship that has changed:  the “weak ties” of civic life and commerce.  Yet research shows that these ties help to knit together our communities and contribute to our health. A 2013 UK study entitled “Is Efficiency Overrated?” found that people who talked to their barista derived well-being benefits more than those who breezed right by them.

The solution that Big Tech offers to our depersonalization crisis is what they call personalization, as in personalized education or personalized health.  These advances seek to counter the alienating invisibility of standardization, so that we are “seen” by machines. But what if it is important—for us and for our social fabric—not just to be seen, but to be seen by other people? 

In that case, the working conditions of jobs like those of Bert, Jenna, and Veronica are consequential. Policies to limit client or student rosters and hours worked would help reduce overload for many groups, from medical residents to public school teachers to domestic workers, as would a National Domestic Workers Bill of Rights recently proposed in Congress.

We should also reign in some of the pervasive enthusiasm for data analytics, as its data entry requirements routinely fall on the very people charged with forging connections.  Just as important is the looming imposition of new technologies taking aim at connective labor. At the very least, socioemotional AI should be labeled as such so we know when we are talking to a robot, and can recognize—and choose—human-to-human connections.  Ultimately, however, we all need to take responsibility for protecting the human bonds in our midst, because these are the unheralded costs of the AI spring.

AI is often sold as a way of “freeing up” humans for other, often more meaningful work. Yet connective labor is among the most profoundly meaningful work humans do, and technologists are nonetheless gunning for it. While humans are imperfect and judgmental to be sure, we also know that human attention and care are a source of purpose and dignity, the seeds of belongingness and bedrock of our communities; yet we tuck that knowledge away in service to an industry that contributes to our growing depersonalization. What is at risk is more than an individual or their job, it is our social cohesion—the connections that are a mutual achievement between and among humans.

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Students and Faculty Members’ Romantic Relations Essay

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Introduction

The “pro” position, the “against” position, critical assessment, compromise position, works cited.

Romantic relationships between a faculty member and a student at a university are an issue that is important for many people in an academic environment. The matter is discussed from many possible angles, including the need to distinguish sexual harassment from a consensual romantic involvement, and a real relationship from one that becomes a student’s instrument of improving the academic scores.

It is evident that even when such a relationship is real, there are just as many drawbacks, as there are advantages. In order to elucidate the nature of the problem, it is crucial to discuss both sides of the question, including an ethical dimension, and suggest a way to reach a middle option. We will argue that both sides of this ongoing debate are rather radical in their approach and a pressing need arises to find a middle ground. Thus, the discussed type of relations should not be prohibited but their formal aspect carefully regulated so as it would affect neither the professor’s nor the student’s reputation and academic career.

Paul Abrams, the author of the article entitled The Right to Romance: Why Universities Shouldn’t Prohibit Relations Between Teachers and Students , is a psychology professor at the University of Los Angeles, California. Abrams argues that there are no reasonable grounds for the legal prohibition of romantic relations between students and professors. The author employs several strong arguments, e.g. the freedom of expression, or “the freedom of mind” (Abrams para. 7).

He maintains that it is unreasonable to forbid people from choosing freely their romantic partners in an academic milieu. Indeed, it is true that each individual has the right to choose whomever he or she pleases as a potential life partner. It is unreasonable and inconsistent with our understanding of the notion of freedom. Moreover, a law cannot regulate the emotional connection that is often established by the people involved. Thus, even professors and students that want to engage in such relations should have the right to do so. The tone Abrams uses to convince his audience is rather emotional and persuasive, as it emphasizes basic human aspects, to which everyone can easily relate. Official institutions should not have a say in such personal matters, as such an approach clearly infringes on human rights.

A teacher-student relation has a dimension of inequality, which is difficult to deny. However, Abrams points out that it is not a problem in such types of relationships save for those between a therapist and a patient. He compares the discussed relation with other types of relationships with a different degree of influence or separated by a power gap. Despite that fact, there is no valid reason for refraining from such relations. There is no possibility of serious damage that such a relationship could cause, except for ordinary problems that can be solved by certain adjustments in college education procedures.

Moreover, such a prohibition denies the students a basic right of free choices. According to Abrams (2007), students are old enough to vote and join the army, so there is no reason for them to be denied the right to establish a relationship with a teacher if they discover such a romantic inclination (12). It seems as though the main reason for educational institutions to impose such sort of restrictions on the faculty is the financial aspect. Since such relations may lead to the university being served with a lawsuit, it is advantageous for them to enforce legal prohibitions in that respect.

The last argument made by Abrams is the most emotionally charged. It is pointed out that for many students and professors their academic environment is the only source of their social encounters. Indeed, it often happens that partners find each other through their work, their field of study, or simply an official establishment where they work or study. It is unreasonable to expect that there can be no romantic relationships among people often passionate about similar things.

On average, the colleges’ policy regarding personal relationships between students and faculty members is prohibited. Harvard University was one of the first seats of learning to impose this rule in the 1980s. Such restrictions are introduced due to the fact that romantic relationships between people with a power gap may often result in an outcome that has a negative impact on the professional relationship. The validity of academic achievements may be questioned by others, implying a possibility of favoritism, which may become a problem for the people involved (“Consensual Relationships between Students and Faculty ” para. 2).

Supporters of such restrictions often mention that in case the relationship does not work out well, it could influence the student’s grades, as well as negatively affect the perception of a particular student by other professors. A student might often feel vulnerable, threatened, or merely uncomfortable with the situation in the department (“Consensual Relationships between Students and Faculty ” para. 3). Moreover, in case a recommendation is needed for the purposes of future employment, an unsuccessful relationship, and bitterness that often remains for a long time may prove to be a hindrance for a student.

According to the University of Michigan, it is often difficult to establish whether the student’s consent is, in fact, voluntary (para. 2). Sexual harassment accusations often lead to lawsuits that are costly for the institution, both in terms of finances and reputation. That is why the mentioned institution recommends refraining from engaging in such relationships, as it may negatively influence the reputation of a particular institution, faculty member, and the student involved.

It is necessary to emphasize that both positions are rather radical. The standpoint presented by Abrams appeals to the ideas of freedom of mind, as well as to the fundamental human rights issues. At the same time, the “against” position makes a desperate yet unsuccessful attempt to regulate human relationships in a formal manner, which is dubious from the start. Both positions entail certain drawbacks. The “pro” position proposes an exaggerated notion of students’ and teachers’ right to engage in whatever relations they see fit. Perhaps it is not wise to leave the matter unrestricted, as it is a delicate matter that needs a certain degree of regulation.

However, the existing regulations are also exaggerated, as they limit the faculty members’ actions in an excessive way. An excellent point is made in the article that points out that there is “no black and white when it comes to adult dating relationships” (“Gov’t Shouldn’t Try to Regulate Teacher-Student Relationships” para. 12). Indeed, the position of strict prohibition is, therefore, equally unsuitable, as it leaves no room for individual nuances of the problem.

It is reasonable to seek compromise in such disputable matters. While both positions discussed put forward valuable arguments, it is necessary to find a certain “middle ground” that would allow for student-teacher relations but would also ensure that no damage is caused regarding the professor’s and the student’s reputation and academic achievements.

According to the Policy Board of Trustees – Montgomery College, relations of a romantic nature between a student and a faculty member, pose substantial risks for the people involved (1). To this end, the college’s regulations specify that even though such types of relations may occur, it is recommended that the people in question disclose their relationship to the administration in order to ensure that no undesirable incidents occur. A compromise approach would involve ensuring that the faculty member in question does not grade the work done by the student, as a personal involvement could lead to unfair treatment, even on a subconscious level.

An appropriate provision can be introduced to ensure that a conflict of interest is avoided. Admittedly, it does presume that the people involved are willing to disclose the nature of their relationship, which is often not the case. However, it is possible to conduct training that would provide all the information regarding such situations and make sure that both students and faculty members understand that it is the best approach.

Romantic relations between students and faculty members often become a burning issue for many colleges. Those advocating for the prohibition of such relations put forward valid arguments concerning the impact a personal involvement might have on the student’s and the professor’s reputation and academic activities. However, their opponents are right to point out that such a rule imposes excessive restrictions that infringe on the right of every person to choose a potential life partner. In an academic milieu, mutual understanding and personal connection are often established thanks to common academic interests. A compromise position outlined above is best, as it both ensures there is no conflict of interest and that the students and faculty members are free to choose a romantic partner.

Abrams, Paul. The Right to Romance. Why Universities Shouldn’t Prohibit Relations Between Teachers and Students . 2007. Web.

Consensual Relationships between Students and Faculty . n.d. Web.

Gov’t Shouldn’t Try to Regulate Teacher-Student Relationships . 2011. Web.

Policy Board of Trustees – Montgomery College. Personnel . Consensual Relationships . 2013. Web.

University of Michigan. St andard Practice Guide Policies. Faculty-Student Relationships . n.d. Web.

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Visit by Vietnam’s new leader to China reflects key relationship, even as it builds ties with US

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In this photo released by Xinhua News Agency, Vietnamese President To Lam, center left, waves as he arrives in Guangzhou, south China’s Guangdong Province, as he starts his three-day official visit to China, Sunday, Aug. 18, 2024. (Deng Hua/Xinhua via AP)

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BEIJING (AP) — Vietnam’s new leader To Lam is making China the destination for his first overseas visit, signaling the continuing importance the Southeast Asian country places on its giant neighbor even as it strengthens ties with the United States and others.

Lam stepped off a Vietnam Airlines plane on an overcast Sunday morning in Guangzhou, a major manufacturing and export hub near Hong Kong, China’s state media reported.

He later flew to Beijing, where he will meet Chinese leader Xi Jinping. His three-day visit comes about two weeks after Lam was confirmed as general secretary of Vietnam’s Communist Party, the country’s top political position. He succeeded Nguyen Phu Trong, who died last month after 13 years as leader.

Lam also has held the largely ceremonial title of the nation’s president since May.

The new leader is expected to continue his predecessor’s strategy of balancing ties with China, the United States, Russia and others, Yu Xiangdong, the director of the Institute for Vietnam Studies at China’s Zhengzhou University, wrote Saturday in the state-run Global Times newspaper.

“The fact that Lam chose China as his first overseas visit destination since taking office is a sign that Vietnam attaches great importance to its relations with China,” Yu said in an opinion piece. “But at the same time, judging from experience, the country is not by any means going to give the U.S. the cold shoulder.”

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Vietnam upgraded its ties with the United States and Japan last year to a comprehensive strategic partnership, the country’s highest designation for a diplomatic relationship. Relations with China and India also have been given the same designation.

The United States and its ally Japan have been developing closer ties with Vietnam’s communist government — America’s former foe in the Vietnam War — as they seek partners in a growing economic and strategic rivalry with China.

When Xi visited Vietnam in December, the two countries announced they would build “a shared future that carries strategic significance.” The agreement, which Chinese state media has described as an elevation of ties, was seen as a concession by Vietnam, which had resisted using that wording in the past.

Russian President Vladimir Putin met Lam in Vietnam in June after visiting North Korea on a rare overseas trip for the Russian leader, who has been ostracized by many countries because of the 2022 invasion and still-ongoing war in Ukraine .

Lam’s agenda in Guangzhou included visiting sites in the southern China city where Vietnam’s former communist leader Ho Chi Minh spent time, Chinese state broadcaster CCTV said.

Ho, the founder and first president of communist Vietnam, was in southern China in the 1920s and again in the 1930s as part of the Soviet Union’s efforts to expand communism globally.

Though they have long ties as one-party communist states, Vietnam and China have sparred repeatedly over territory that both claim in the South China Sea. China also briefly invaded parts of northern Vietnam in 1979.

A Vietnamese coast guard ship recently took part in joint drills in the Philippines, which has had a series of violent encounters with China over contested territory in the South China Sea.

Still, Vietnam has benefited economically from investment by Chinese manufacturers, which have moved production to the Southeast Asian country in part to skirt U.S. restrictions on solar panels and other exports from China.

During Xi’s December visit, the two countries signed an agreement to cooperate on railway projects, which could improve trade connections between the two. China is Vietnam’s largest trading partner,

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